Today there are two entries from Dot; one is an undated note she presumably stuck in with the lunch she packed Dart for his return trip to Cleveland, the other a sweet, intimate letter she wrote immediately after he left Greenwich.
Now for the letter.
“All the things I had been trying to say all weekend came to my mind as I saw you disappear into the crowd at Grand Central Station,” begins the plaintive letter. “Whether it seems possible to believe or not, I am a very affectionate girl and inwardly crave affection all the time. But when that which I crave is at hand, I get tense and self-conscious.”
She goes on to write about some picture that El tried to orchestrate with Dot and Dart. Dot begins her explanation about why it was so awkward for her with, “Once, not very long ago, you wrote me a wonderful letter (they all are) which I shall never forget. You said to your way of thinking, a kiss was something much more sacred than the majority of people make it seem. Well, yesterday when El was trying to get us to ‘pose’ I kept thinking of that and just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It’s such a beautiful way of looking at it that I wouldn’t want your opinion lost or your faith in me betrayed over some foolish picture. Perhaps I wouldn’t have been quite so shy had I not been forced (almost) into something which I don’t believe should be made public, thus cheapening the full meaning.”
I was quite moved by these thoughts this young, inexperienced woman expressed so thoughtfully. She writes that when he told her he loved her, she was thrilled to hear it, but she simply couldn’t make her mouth say it in return. I suspect it was not a matter of her not feeling enough for Dart, but feeling too much. She writes, “Dart, let’s make it last forever.”
I remember the easy, comfortable displays of affection that I witnessed frequently between my parents. Having that proof of the woman she became, it is touching to me that she was so uneasy with all that early in her relationship with Dad. It’s a reminder of how young she really was.
She recalls how much happier she had felt last night, knowing he was asleep just one floor below her. Now as she prepares for bed, she imagines him at that moment, gently rocking and swaying to the rhythm of the train.
Continuing her letter early the next morning, Dot relives the memories of the two of them on Long Island Beach. She tells of noticing the weeping willows on Mason Street looking sadder today, and the light rain falling on the town of Greenwich is proof that the whole place is in mourning since Dart went away. She assures him that he made a wonderful impression on her family, Cynthia and others who met him during his very brief visit.
She relates that as she walked through Grand Central yesterday after leaving Dart, she must have looked forlorn. A kindly old gentleman said to her, “Cheer up, young lady. It happens every day, but he’ll be back.” (Is that what everyone told each other when a young man left during war time?) She cautioned Dart not to make a liar out of the kind stranger.
She tells Dart that she called his parents after he left to tell them when they could expect him home. His mother seemed glad to talk with her and told Dot how pleased she and Dart, Sr. were that their son had made the trip.
After asking for copies of any photo prints he makes from the visit, and promising to send hers to him, she closes the letter.
