This four-page letter carries no news. It is merely a long lament of loneliness. Dart is discouraged at his weak time management abilities. He needs someone to complain to, but his mother is never home at the same time he is. Besides, the person he most wants to talk to lives far, far away, in Connecticut.
“I’ve come to the place where I’m willing to do anything other than my assigned work, and that’s bad. Maybe it’s from lack of rest, or lack of recreation, or from just plain restlessness, waiting for our wedding. It’s such a long time till June!”
“My traits of not facing things get me down sometimes. Tonight, for instance, when I should have come straight home from Skyline, I went to Little Ted’s with the gang. The people left, one by one, until four of us fellows remained. I have work enough this weekend to stun the average elephant, yet I stayed there over my coffee until almost one. I no sooner get caught up on necessaries and ready to start on extras, then I waste some hours and the necessaries are once again mountains in the distance. I’m afraid I just don’t have the courage to face what must be done.”
When he gets into this state, even sex loses its importance. What he wants is the patience and compassion only Dot can give him.
“Good night, my Darling. These last few months are a nightmare. Marriage won’t change either of us much, but it’ll help us be what we are: two people who love each other and need each other’s attentions and companionship and physical relations. I’m afraid after talking so big about getting the third floor started, that I won’t be able to do a thing. I wish I had stick-to-it-iveness like other people. Please excuse my blue letter. Good night again, Dot. I love you.”
Even as I get a little exasperated with his focus on himself, I have sympathy for Dart. He faces financial pressures every day, compounded by the worry about his frail father and his over-worked mother. I suspect that college has been a bit of a rude awakening for him, too. He was an academic star in high school, known especially as a gifted writer. He had strong math skills. Even in his Navy training classes, he competed near the top in a very difficult class. He hasn’t seen that kind of easy success in college. His writing is good, but not stellar. Two of his magazine submissions have been rejected by his peers. When he was on the engineering path at Case, his very capable high school level math skills fell far short of the demands of a top engineering school. Suddenly, he is doubting his worth. I think a situational depression, brought on by worry and impatience to begin his life with Dot has settled over him like a heavy net. That’s all combining to divert his focus and energy away from what he should be doing. Worry leads to depression which results in procrastination, which adds to the pressure he feels. It’s a cycle that can be broken with some academic successes under his belt and the fulfillment of his greatest need – to be married to Dot.