Friday, March 28, 1947

It’s another l-o-n-g letter from Dart; 12 pages! Because it sticks to mainly one topic, and at times seems to ramble redundantly for several paragraphs, I intend to do a lot of paraphrasing.

Two more nice letters came today. You’re too nice to me, honey. The package came today, too, along with the letter you sent to Pop at Crile. The silhouette of you had your mouth, noes and eyelashes. I like it very much. As you expected, Pop appreciated the menu more than I did. The idea of stapling all the little cards around the edges is a clever one. When Mom saw it she said she didn’t believe it.

I have no idea what most of that paragraph means. I hope Mom can shed some light.

He spent the day running errands and switching motors from one model engine to another. Mostly, he’s pleased with the results. He even squeezed in a little schoolwork before going to the Skyline meeting tonight.

That meeting took place at the posh apartment of Rand Manning. Dart and two other staffers were invited for dinner before the meeting. “How I’d like to have the ability (and money) to entertain as capably as Rand does.”

Dart continues with his description of the evening. “We had 14 people at the meeting and his place didn’t seem crowded. We were well-supplied with everything we wanted to drink, plus sandwiches in the late evening. Rand did it all himself without a hint of busyness or bother. Quite a host and a remarkable character. Needless to say, we had a  good time.”

Switching topics, he tells Dot of a new boat company operating on Lake Erie this year. It has passenger boats that go out to all the islands as well as Canada. He thinks it would be nice if he and Dot took advantage of some of the day trips offered by these boats – perhaps riding bikes during a visit to Put-In-Bay.

He returns to the subject of the Skyline meeting, and this is where the rambling part of the letter begins. He tells her that often the polite conversation of these meetings seems forced or empty when the evening is over. In one way they fill a need that Dart has felt for a long time: that of social stimulation and some companionship with people who share a common interest. In this case, that interest is writing. But these same social occasions lack something he desires even more.

I want closer companionship with someone who can enjoy things along with me. …To be able to share an enjoyment of life, to merely mention something (like an exceptionally red patch on a frost-nipped elm), and to have the feeling that the other person…has the same idea about that thing.

He needs the relaxation of having a true companion with whom there is no need of careful explanation of thoughts or feelings. He has only known that a few times. Sometimes, it’s there with Homer. He certainly had it with his late friend Art Carle. Sometimes, in rare moments, it was there with Jean Kirby., But, of course, the most companionable person he’s ever known is Dot.

You and I can get along with each other, either with or without conversation and we want to be each other’s friend and confidante. … Intimacy (not necessarily the sexual kind) is only possible between true companions. He expresses his belief that true intimacy between a man and a woman cannot ever be achieved without physical intimacy. But it is that which allows a wife to be her husband’s only real friend and a husband to be his wife’s only real confidante.

Before tonight’s meeting, Rand (who has gone to bed with more people than he can count) confessed that he wishes he’d never started down that path. He is bored by physical intimacy absent real companionship. Dart seems proud that he and Dot have taken a different path. “The feeling that I might fulfill missing parts of your life makes it all the more like what I want from true companionship. I like the thought of being vital to you.”

Somehow I think that each of us should know something of what the other expects out of marriage, outside of the usual sleeping together, eating together, darning sox, and bringing home a paycheck. I hope that someday you’ll get used to all my ramblings. I hope these ramblings are harmless. I hope that our marriage will help us find the answer, if there is one, to life.

“I love you, Dot. How can we get through these last days of separation?”

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