As another weekend draws to a close, Dart is kicking himself because he didn’t get as much done as he had hoped to – again. (Just a tip, Dart; maybe if you lay off those 14-page “thinking” letters, you’d have more time for other things.)

The church improvement committee announced they had exceeded their $6,000 fund raising goal by $735.

Every moment of every day, Dart is lonely for Dot. He thinks how much better everything would be if she were by his side. He’s most lonesome at bedtime, when all he wants to do is crawl in beside her and get wrapped up in each other. He wants to rest his tired body against her warm, soft, sweet, responsive body. He wants to fall asleep entwined and wake up to her kisses.

#          #          #

Dot’s brief letter included a clipping from the Greenwich paper about the teen girls’ trip into the city to see the ice show. Listed as a chaperone was one Miss Dorothy Chamberlain.

She went to the hospital today to visit her cousin Betty and her new daughter Jane Chamberlain Ficker. Both mother, baby, and new dad are doing well.

Dot babysat for the Millers this afternoon. Chris asked about Dart almost the moment she arrived.

Tomorrow she begins her work at 8:30, and plans to be well-rested. In fact, she wants to stick to an early bedtime from now until the wedding. That way, she won’t have to waste much time sleeping on their honeymoon.

She asks Dart to remind her to renew her license with her first check and then says that in spite of her, the National Safety Council has named Connecticut the state with the safest drivers.

That’s all for today.

Dart’s schedule allows him a short break in the evening to answer Dot’s letters. He agrees with her thoughtful letter of late; he thinks they are missing something by writing instead of talking.

He believes letters have taken them as far as they can go and that they would certainly benefit from more conversation. He recalls that Dot once doubted she would ever be able to discuss intimate things with him face-to-face. “Yet, by working up to it gently, now nothing I can think of is forbidden in our talks, and we do so honestly. … Our letters have achieved an intimacy that we never dreamed of when we first started.”

He’s very complimentary of her recent letter. He says it’s well written, deep, and thoughtful. It was more like some of the conversations they’ve had than her usual letters. He says, kindly, but perhaps a bit patronizingly, that learning to write is a slower process than learning to talk. As an outside observer, I would say that although Dot doesn’t express deep ideas as frequently as Dart, when she does, her writing style is more direct, down to earth, and digestible than his lofty, often verbose essays.

From her letter, he assumes that she believes the letter he wrote but never sent had centered on a misunderstanding they’d had in January. He writes now that only a paragraph or two of that condemned letter had dealt with the January incident. The rest was about his fear, anger, and depression over Pop’s state of mind. But since she asked, he’ll tell her what was on his mind regarding the January incident.

I won’t go into much detail, but when Dot first arrived, she told Dart she’d had a long talk with herself about how dangerous their desires for each other were getting. She was determined that her week in Cleveland would not result in any behavior they would both regret. At one point late in her visit, Dart asked Dot for something she was not willing to give. He thought he detected disappointment in her voice and disgust in her eyes when he voiced his request. He left the room then. “I wouldn’t have tried then, or perhaps ever, to talk myself back into your good graces, or to ask you to love me again, because I never felt more unworthy of your love and trust. I broke your trust that night, Dot, and I’m ashamed to say that I would have given up that easily. Out of all that lust and breaking of my honor, (and attempt at breaking yours, which is worse) I realized that I deserved to be left. Thank you very much, Dot, for calling me back to talk it over. A thing I am afraid of is that some moment like that, when I’d give up too easily, would cause our marriage to go bad.”

Wow.

Looking back, now that he sees how that situation was resolved, he’s glad the incident happened because they’ve learned so much from it. He’s glad she brought it up and he’d love to hear her perspective when they can talk in person.

#          #          #

Dot’s letter is really just a note. She and Nancy went for a long walk last night and Dot nearly collapsed when she got home. Hence, no letter to Dart yesterday.

She liked his swell letter, but she cautions that he shouldn’t get too worked up over the strike. She did, and has found it changes nothing. She will not be petitioning the union for a refund of her union fees because they have only deducted $5.99 in the whole time she’s worked there. She just wants to put the whole business behind her.

She’ll try to write more tonight, but the only important thing she has to say is that she loves him.

I love how Dart has taken to writing the countdown to the wedding under the date on every letter he writes. By his calculations, it’s now 66 days until the big event.

He hopes she isn’t expecting a big letter tonight because he simply doesn’t have the time to write one.

Although he probably didn’t write his prediction of his grade on his recent journalism test, he got exactly what he thought he would – an 85%. That’s a B, and of course he’s not happy about it. He was sick for several days before the test and missed a lot of the material presented in class, but that’s no excuse in his mind.

He got her nice little note on pretty paper today, telling him of Dot’s walk with Nancy Clapp. Gee, he wishes he could have been there for that. Since he hasn’t heard anything yet about the dance chaperone job, he assumes she didn’t take it.

Now he’s waiting to hear about her new job collecting data for the town directory. He used to hate canvassing for the Plain Dealer when he was a kid, but he’s sure Dot will meet some nice people on her walks through Greenwich.

From recent news in Cleveland, it looks like the phone company strikers are facing a long, hard battle. He doubts that even Mr. Truman will intervene. In Cleveland, coin phones are no longer working because there’s no one to collect the nickles from them. Once the phones are so full they can’t take any  more coins, they sit mutely in their booths.

He asks her if there’s anything specific they’d like to have from  his folks as a wedding present. He’s wondering about a table-top phonograph or an electric toaster. His mom has been hinting a lot lately, and he thinks she’s leaning toward a more comfortable chair for their little apartment.

His mother bought the fabric for the dress she’s going to wear to the wedding, and it’s very pretty. I’ll bet she’s getting very excited about the prospect of attending her oldest son’s wedding. She may even harbor a secret delight in having to travel to a distant location, despite her husband’s dislike of travel and meeting strangers.

There’s still much to do on his daily schedule, so he must leave this letter here. He fills the bottom third of the last page with “I LOVE YOU!” written in red crayon.

#          #          #

Dot warns this will be a quickie letter. Although she loves her new job, walking seven hours a day leaves her with little energy for anything else. Since coming home, she’s already cleaned the kitchen, washed her hair and written a long-over due letter to Columbia.

From her last telephone company check, she can afford to send him $3.00 for their penny account, bringing their total to $85.00. That leaves $15.00 to go for their goal and 66 days to find it.

“This was certainly a gorgeous day to be outside. I’m working on the streets just off Valleywood Rd. where Harriet and George live. There are loads of happy, smiling kids in that neighborhood and almost as many barking, playful dogs. It’s a joy to work where the surroundings seem so much like the idealized America. Kids with muddy shoes, dirty knees and faces, and lacking a couple of teeth are my idea of real, unadulterated happiness. But they are so eager to learn what life is all about that they don’t stay that way for long. I wish that someday I could found a home for kids and make them feel as good as they make me feel when I’m around them.”

On the back side of page 1, she writes “Guess the only reason you turned this over was to see what was on the other side. Nothin’, ‘cept I love you more powerful every day. “

“Big dealings in English tomorrow, so I must sleep and study. Had a nice little letter from you today. Hope I’ll learn about your new job tomorrow.”

Dart suspects Dot could teach him a thing or two about driving now. He admits that he was getting sloppy and reckless in his driving skills, and since he’s not driving much these days, he doubts he’s improved any.

“I love you, Dot. Can you imagine me lying there with you, perhaps even on you, looking down into your bright, loving eyes, and saying that? I can. I just did. Gee, it hardly seems real that we’ll be able to do more than just says ‘I love you,” as proof of our love. And so soon, too!”

His P.S. tells her that she can sleep all she wants on their honeymoon, because he certainly plans to sleep a lot!

#          #          #

The most important thing on Dot’s mind is that she loves Dart. Most everything else will have to wait until tomorrow because she’s so tired. “I wonder what it’s like not to be tired.”

It was a very messy day to be canvassing, but she did it anyway. She was soaking wet all day and will probably come down with pneumonia any day.

She had her ring cleaned and enlarged today, and it looks and feels even more beautiful than before. She loves it and the person who gave it to her.

She reports that she got a short letter from Dart today, but not as short as this one. She begs his forgiveness with a plea of being just “plum” beat.

When Dart first attempted to start this letter, he instead began to sketch a schematic drawing of the electrical circuits he wants to add to his railroad. It came to him last week that it might be fun for visitors to his railroad to have a second control panel from which they could try their hand at operating a separate train after they get bored watching the main line go round and round. After following this “train” of thought for a couple of pages, he moves on to something more interesting.

After his recent crack about whether or not she was going to get a “wired job”  (meaning strapless bra), Dot asked him what happened to that sweet, innocent man she fell in love with. He says he knew all about women back then; they wore girdles and had bumpy sweaters. What else was there to know? Anyway, he warns that if she doesn’t stop calling herself a certain unflattering nickname, she may find that he begins to address her that way. He thinks she should take Harriet up on her offer to make  a strapless bra for her. What?! Who makes their own bras? He also added that he has no qualms about her getting a satin slip to wear with her wedding dress. Well, aren’t we glad that’s all squared away!

He and Elmer shopped for luggage today, but found none. He’ll  have to try again.

Finally, he tells her he’s up for the challenge of finding her among those six yards of negligee her mother made for the wedding night. Why, he’s just certain that they won’t let a few scraps of cloth stand in the way of what they’ve been waiting for so long!

#          #          #

Dot dreams of a future when she’ll be able to tell Dart about her day by talking to him, but for now, she’s too tired to  write much about it. She fears her letters will be short and dull until that day.

Today, Norman bought some “Kemtone” for the third floor and she helped him mix it into the paint. I’m not sure what she’s describing here, but the nice apricot color makes the parts they’ve done look fresh and bright. She says that at the rate they’re going on the third floor, June will have come and gone long before they get to the first floor.

Eleanor wrote to Pilgrim Press to see if they carried white Bibles. They responded that they have two styles; one is $6.00 and the other is $2.20. The brides decided that since they will probably only use them once when they carry them for the wedding, and since they’ll be covered up by a bouquet then anyway, they didn’t need to spend more than $2.20. Dot has collected about that much in coins recently, so El ordered two and they’ll arrive in plenty of time for the wedding. Another detail they can scratch off the list.

She reports that the family car Pegasus has been quite ill lately. Tonight, he’s staying over at the automotive hospital awaiting a big operation in the morning. He’ll be getting a new fuel pump then, and with luck, will make a full recovery. The family would sure be in a tough spot if he doesn’t pull through.

“Your swell eight-pager about that night in January arrived today. I haven’t time or inclination to say anymore about the subject just now. If there’s anything to forgive, by all means, Darling, you’re forgiven. Let’s let sleeping dogs lie.”

Her friend Nancy’s parents have gone to Texas for six weeks, so Nancy will be spending her days off at the Chamberlain house. She’s coming tomorrow night, so Dot warns there’ll be another short letter then.

Now she must start her seven-hour nap. “I love you very much, Dart. No matter how much or how often I tell you that, do you still feel that because of one little misunderstanding I could stop loving you – just like that? If that were the case – and you know it isn’t – it wouldn’t be a love worth having anyway.”

It’s very late and I have a lot – no, some to tell you, but I think I better limit to just a line or two to make sure that you know I love you.

Well, I do love you, and I miss you too, Darling. No letter today, and gosh, I’m lonesome. Not just lonesome for letters, though.

That’s all from Dart, except for a clipping of a funny poem from the Plain Dealer about Spring (or lack thereof) in Cleveland.

#          #          #

Instead of writing to Dart, Dot confesses that she’s been telling Nancy all about their dreams and plans. Nancy may be bored to tears, but she’s such a good listener that she never shows it.

Tonight, Dot and Nancy picked up Helen and they drove out for pizza. Helen seemed genuinely pleased to be out with the girls, and she and Nancy spent the evening talking about the boys they know and date in Greenwich. Dot did most of the eating because she doesn’t know any of the boys they talked about. She’s been absent from the Greenwich dating scene for many years now.

She got two super letters from Dart tonight, but they’ll have to wait for another time to  get answered.

Less than nine weeks to go for the wedding and Dart is getting pretty excited. He loved her cute little note that he got today, but he’s not so keen on that soaking she got. He hopes she doesn’t get sick from it.

He went on a buying spree today, buying a pair of real “sharp” pj’s and a belt. He had to take the pj’s back because they were too small, but he got a nice undershirt in exchange. Still looking for pj’s.

A swell new plan for a rapid transit system was announced today. Dart hopes the city council will approve it without delay so that it can be up and running by fall of 1948′

The model railroad club met last night after his Skyline meeting. The organizer of the group, Larry Greasel, has been transferred to Kentucky for his job and Dart’s worried that the spark will go out of this congenial little club.

The Skyline meeting was held at the home of Tom Barensfeld, where the group also had dinner. It was a nice time, except Dart made “some of the most astounding and inexcusable faux-pas’es ever. “I don’t know what possessed me to be so darned stupid!”

They had great fun with Tom’s tape recorder, which can record continuously for 30 minutes and can be easily erased and re-recorded. Tom ran the thing for a while, and then during a lull in the conversation, he played back the recording. Dart thinks he sounds like Burke.

Gee, he’s lonely for Dot. He’s developed the habit of bringing ice cream home from his Friday night meetings, but it’s not so much fun without her to share it with.

After the club meeting, Homer came in to see Dart’s new layout work. While Homer ran the trains, Dart was able to observe his new little engine from all angles and get some more ideas for improving the set-up. Homer is still keen on the idea of being in the wedding, but still isn’t sure he can. The good news is, he already owns a set of tails.

Dart also discussed birth control methods with his pal. Homer was full of information which Dart will relay to Dot at a later date. He’s still nervous at the idea of buying contraception at the drug store; should he go to the one where he’s known, or should he go to a place he’s never been? He sure hopes they won’t have to use anything on the first night, but he’s willing to, if necessary.

#          #          #

Dot fears that Dart will be as fed up with her short letters as she is, but she can’t seem to figure out how to manage her spare time. When she comes home from her 5 to 10 mile hike each night, she has no energy to exercise her “feeble brain” in the form of a letter.  “This outdoor life agrees with me, however. My cheeks are always a rosy red and when I sleep, I SLEEP! You might call mine the kind of job that’s hard on the sole, but good for the soul.”

As she signs off, she tells Dart she loves him and will try to finish the letter tomorrow.

Well, she didn’t get around to it on Sunday, but she set the alarm for early Monday morning in an attempt to add more to the letter. Sadly, she turned off the alarm, fell asleep at her desk, and is now late for work. She’ll try again tonight.

Dart characterizes this one-page letter as a “token of my everlasting love and devotion,” because he hasn’t much time to write any more.

There’s not much news from his world today, other than the fact that he went “look-shopping” for some clothes today, but all he found were high prices.

He’s glad she was able to find a source for white Bibles, he sends Pegasus best wishes for a full recovery, and his constant sense of missing her has become a lonely, lingering longing.

He’d love to know what he wrote in all those “super” letters she claims to have received from him, because he has no recall of anything close to super of late.

#          #          #

Dot’s letter opens with a confession: The day was so cold, wet and blustery today, that she called off work at 11:00 in the morning. She wonders what will happen when she shows up for work tomorrow. Will she still have a job?

Her Aunt Edna stopped by today with a wedding present for Dot and Dart. They now have six sheets and six pillowcases to add to their hope chest, bringing their total to 11 sheets and 10 cases! At that rate, they’ll only have to do laundry a couple of times a year! “According to a book I read about households and how to take care of them properly, six sheets for every bed in the house is a good number to aim for.”

She tells Dart a story of another visitor.  “Mrs. McCully and her husband stopped by yesterday afternoon to see when we could get together on church decoration ideas. They drove up in a new cream color Chrysler convertible. I remarked on the beauty of it, and Mr. McCully remarked quite casually, ‘Oh, it’s not ours. It’s a graduation present for Martha.’  Martha is their 17-year-old daughter who is graduating from boarding school in June. The amazing thing about their family is that neither of their kids is spoiled. They have to work for what they get. Martha kept an A average for four years to get the car. There was a time when the McCullys didn’t know where the next meal was coming from, believe it or not.”

She needs to spend some time ironing, so this will be all for tonight. She tells Dart that she loves him and all of the heart-warming letters he writes.

Later that night, Dot writes an uncharacteristically sad letter. She’s been crying all night about a situation that developed at home. She doesn’t feel like writing about the specifics, but promises they’ll talk about it when he’s there in June.

Whatever the situation is, it has made her feel extra blue. “The longing, empty feeling I used to have when we were separated has developed into an actual hurt. My desire to see you and to hold you close and never let you go has become so strong that it’s almost unbearable. Nothing else holds any significance. I feel cheated because we’ve had to be apart most of the time since we met.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, Dart, but this is one of the times when my misfortune almost outweighs the abundant good fortune I have had. And yet the ironic part of it all is that I wouldn’t change places with anyone in the world. ”

She hints that there have been some things happening in the family that have made her feel “more useless and stupid than ever.”

There follows a hint at what’s happening for her at home. “I suppose that as long as I have a ‘baby face’ and act so darned happy and excited all the time, no one will believe me capable of having a serious thought or of having any depth of feeling. I used to be able to laugh it off, but now I resent it.” She tells Dart she wants to leave home and stay away for such a long time that no one would recognize her when she returns. “Maybe I’d grow up a great deal faster if every thought or idea I have on any serious subject weren’t squelched before I had a chance to develop it.”

She asks Dart’s forgiveness for unburdening herself on him and she promises that someday she will be worth his love and trust, and that she’ll be able to return the strength that he gives to her.