Dart’s letter proves two things: He didn’t get a letter from Dot today, and the thought of her joining the WAVEs haunts him. He spends four pages giving a detailed, disparaging account of what life would be like for her, should she decide to enlist, and what their future would be like. He’s obviously very concerned it could bring an end to their relationship.
I often wish my dad were still around so I could ask him questions about these letters. In most cases, though, I think I knew him well enough to have a pretty good guess what his responses would be. This obsession about the WAVEs stumps me, though. One of the biggest gripes he has is about how the WAVEs are treated so disrespectfully. Much of what he hints at is vile behavior and degrading language relentlessly directed at these women. That offends him. The other part of the letter, however, is painting WAVEs as cheap, hard women of easy virtue. It’s hard to imagine that in an organization the size of the USN WAVEs, virtually all of the volunteers would be that “certain kind of woman.” Was this a case of society being so put off by independent or strong women that the response to them was to tear them down? Or did the opportunity to serve one’s country in a time of war appeal mostly to free spirits or “loose women?”
Although he would never have called himself a feminist, my father was just that. He had an unwavering respect for, and appreciation of women. The Dart I knew had no double standard for the sexes. He respected smart women, enjoyed funny women, believed in equal rights and in advanced education for women. He wanted the same things for his daughters that he wanted for his son.
And yet, the perspective he shares in this letter sounds chauvinistic and judgemental. Maybe that was a function of his youth and inexperience. Or, like his infrequent racial insensitivity, perhaps it was a reflection of the times and culture. Maybe there was a general mindset that if a woman placed herself in the company of a large number of men (the US Navy), was willing to do menial tasks, and wore trousers, she must be asking for the abuse that was coming to her. In that regard, is it all that different from the plight of women in the armed services today? Have women made real progress in the military over the past 70 years?
This letter is unsettling to me because I don’t recognize my father in it. He is, however, very concerned that in his harsh and direct warnings about the perils of life as a WAVE, he might cause Dot any distress, hurt feelings or anger. He also recognizes that he could get into big trouble by discouraging her enlistment in a time of war, but he’s willing to risk it in order to persuade her of the folly of her plans. “Men who discouraged enlistments during the last war are still serving time in the Portsmouth brig. Nobody will stop me from dissuading you.” This, in full view of the censors.
It’s another short letter from Dot today. “And don’t think it’s because it’s too bothersome, cuz it’s not. The world will end before it’s ever a bother for me to write to you. I am fast realizing that there are only 24 hours in a day and nothing can be done about making any more. Just another shortage we must put up with – ‘ceptin’ this one won’t be helped by Victory.”
This morning she awoke early to practice with the church choir before the service. “Word must have leaked out that I was to become a member of the choir cuz I already noticed we had a slightly depleted congregation today.”
After church, she babysat for Chris and Eric Miller, a pair of “live wires” that make her thankful breathing is an automatic response because she had no time to think about it, or anything else today. She quips that if the two adages “Only the good die young” and “There’s no rest for the wicked” are true, she should be good and healthy until she’s 100 or so.
She hates to disappoint him, but she’s still working at FS. She’s quite disappointed herself, but since he disapproved of her working in a defense plant and he doesn’t want her to become a Cadet Nurse, she’s rather stuck. She asks if he’d mind if she signed up as first baseman for the Brooklyn Dodgers. (She’ll await his approval before she applies.) Then she comments how influential he’s been keeping her living a sheltered life, even from half way around the world. I wonder if that’s a gentle dig at his bossiness. She suggests that if she gets into an even deeper rut at the store than she is already, he will be to blame.
She’s tired (which is not news). She loves him – also not news. His latest four letters were “super deluxe” and she will answer them as soon as she can. P.S., she still loves him.
Here’s a heads up. The time Dart warned would be coming soon – the period when he couldn’t write – is here. There are no letters coming from him for the next four days, but Dot writes a couple during that time.
