December 31, 1945 – New Year’s Eve!

Here’s another of those strikingly intimate letters from Dart, prompted by his receipt of Dot’s letter from Christmas Day. We also hear from Dot, so let’s get started.

“Do you realize, Dot, that we are doing some things I’ve always looked at with a rather ‘fishy eye,’ or with a certain amount of wonder? Two years ago, or even a year ago, I’d have rebelled against writing or receiving a letter like the first sentence of your Christmas letter, or like some of the ones I’ve written recently. (Note: Dot’s opening sentences that day were”Think that by two Christmases from now we’ll be able to roll over in bed and wish each other the season’s greetings? Maybe you can wait longer than that, but I know I can’t. I found that out Saturday night when both of us came too close to doing something we shouldn’t.)

“Where is the distinction between right and wrong? How does wrong become right? Surely such things are wrong when some other people do them and say them, and surely they would have been wrong if they’d passed between us. Who, though, can say if they are right or wrong now? A strict, impersonal, disinterested moralist might call them wrong, because they tend to show a relaxation of standards or reserve. However, I believe they’re alright because we are learning to know each other. We are preparing for marriage faster now than we’ve been able to before.”

“Our letter romance had me fooled into thinking that all courtship and love might possibly be carried on in that way. But developments since I’ve returned to the states have proved me wrong. It takes sessions of lovemaking in a dark corner. It takes being in the same house for a couple of days at a time. It takes verbal exchange of ideas, visual signs of affection, facial expressions which can tell as much as a thousand words, and close bodily exchange of passion and tenderness. Our love which began with ideals and was borne up with hundreds of letters, is continuing to grow and be magnified, by all the things we’ve done together. And still, the times we’ve had together when we were on ‘real’ prewar dates can be counted on the fingers of one hand. We enjoy each other’s company. We like to be together. We still have not danced much, nor have we bowled or skated, or gone to a concert, or gone to church more than once. We have played ping-pong and we have played badminton. I’ve enjoyed both of those with you more than ever before, so I must surely be in line to have more fun swimming, dancing, boating, skating, or hiking than I’ve ever had. Does not that show that we are in love?”

“No, not entirely. It helps, but it doesn’t prove it. What does prove it? That is a question no one can answer. It’s a combination of all those things – our companionship, our social and moral ideas, our taste in design and music and friends, our desire to be married and enjoy the pleasures and privileges of marriage with each other to the exclusion of all others. In addition, our love is mental – maybe even instinctive. We know we are in love. Each of us knows we have the trust and devotion of the other. Beyond these points, love is indescribable and indefinable… So our actions are, in my mind, right whereas they’d have been wrong before. We have reached what I think is the limit for people who are not married. The next step, and may it come sooner than we dare to hope for, is our wedding.”

After breaking from the letter to go to work, Dart spends a little time and paper telling Dot about his day on the ship. He and another fellow were ordered to paint something on the ship which was out in the open. It was a very windy and blustery day, so the paint went everywhere, but they knew enough to do what they were ordered to do. The sea is choppy and the Craig is rolling uncomfortably on her anchor.  Now there’s a rumor the ship will be in Charleston until at least January 19. Seems as though the Navy is better at circulating rumors than at formulating actual plans. At last he knows what it would feel like to have a classmate from Case as an officer. There’s a new Ensign on board who was in Dart’s V-12 class and completed the mechanical engineering program successfully.

He’s glad she appreciates the CO2 extinguisher and he’s glad her family had fire insurance for Pegasus. Quite a little adventure!

Now he wonders if she was disillusioned by something he said during their talk on Saturday night. Would she mind telling him what he might have said?

“Something you said in your letter of the 25th made me realize what the look in your eyes was, when we came close to doing what we shouldn’t. I’d wondered about that. Were you a little scared? I was too overwhelmed with love to know very much about what I was doing, except that we’d gone as far as we ever want to before we’re married. I love you, Dot.”

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Dot didn’t spend New Year’s Eve at the Millers as planned because both Eric and Mrs. Miller were sick. Instead, she’s helping El ring in 1946 while she babysits elsewhere. Their father is disappointed that they would accept babysitting jobs rather than celebrating with the family. Dot is sipping ginger ale while El is enjoying a ginger ale and rye. Their main topic of conversation is when Dot and Dart will get married. For obvious reasons, El is opposed to long engagements and thinks they should get it done as quickly as possible. She believes the open-ended engagement she had with Don was one of the reasons he went “off the deep end” and married someone else in a rush. (I think the real reason is that he was a heel who cheated on his fiance and was forced by an unplanned pregnancy into marrying. Odds are high that he would have cheated on El in marriage, too. In their case, perhaps a long engagement worked out for the best.)

Dot’s so pleased that Dart called her yesterday. It felt  almost like he was part of the big family festivities. His picture was on the piano for all to admire, and admire it they did! He’s quite popular with the Chamberlain clan and everyone asked about him. A favorite subject was when these two kids would be getting married. When Dot said at least two-and-a half years, most people rolled their eyes and laughed. Then they started placing wagers. so Dot stopped talking about it.

She’s a little confused on the topic now anyway. Dart has started saying maybe they could get married in a year, but how does that work? If they want to go to Lake Sunapee on their honeymoon, they can’t have a winter wedding. Also, that would put Dart in the middle of a school term. And what about her education? He seems pretty determined that she graduate, although she’d give up college and anything else to be his wife. All Dot knows for sure is they cannot wait three years – not after that “session” on Saturday night in Cleveland. Times like that make her love him to the “danger point,” and that puts too big a strain on both of them.

Over 35 people came by the Chamberlain house at some point on Christmas. Most were involved in playing “The Game.” (Charades) Dot had to act out “Once Upon a Time” and “The Swan of Tuonela” while her father had the place in stitches has he did “Hubba, Hubba, Hubba.” Her Uncle Ralph was a riot doing “Granny Wore Tights.” Wow, those are tough assignments, but with this crowd, the tougher, the better.

In answer to Dart’s question, she didn’t drive the girls to Stamford to see the movie for Nancy’s birthday because the roads were icy. Instead, her parents drove everyone over there and had a chance to see the movie themselves. It was a fun night and a great movie. It was a very good film, similar to “Going My Way,” but not quite as good.

Now, in further answer to his letters, she tried to learn a slide rule once, but decided it was easier to just work things out on paper. She’s relieved to hear that Santa made it to his place on Superior Ave. because she feared he’d used all his time and resources filling up the Chamberlain house. She hopes his cold is better. Hers is nearly gone, for which she’s grateful She’s decided to take the train back to Ohio tonight, rather than tomorrow morning. She wants to be sure to get into town before her 8:00 AM class. If she has time tomorrow, she’ll stop in to say hello to Dart’s mother.

He probably didn’t expect an answer to his question “How can you be so trusting, so loyal, so lovely?” but he’s going to get one anyway. “The answer is really quite simple. It’s just that I had to be to get a guy like you.” Well said, Dot.

Before she goes to bed, “where all good little girls, and even her” should be by now, she wants to wish him the happiest and most prosperous new year, complete with his discharge from the USNR, his return to college, and many unexpected pleasures.

Although Dot won’t get back to letter-writing until January 3, due to traveling, Dart is back at it tomorrow. See you then.

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