At the top of the page Dart draws a little pot-bellied mad wearing plaid pants and playing a saxophone. He remarks that the little man isn’t him, because he’s done nothing today to blow his own horn about. He did, however, get that haircut.
His hospitalization insurance is due soon and he wanted to get the Sunapee pictures from the Kodak store, so he took Uncle Tom up on his offer of money, he borrowed $10 and got both the insurance bill and the photo prints. (Uncle Tom claims he’s got lots of cash.)
Dart has an idea to get an enlargement of print 22-1 to give to Dot’s father for Christmas, so she should keep it under her hat. (The idea, not the photo.)
Today he spent two hours at the Cleveland public library reading the book he’s chosen for his next book report. “Histories of the Dividing Line Betwixt Virginia and North Carolina,” by William Byrd. It is such a rare book that it is not allowed to leave the library, but it is on hold for Dart to use whenever he requests it. It occurs to Dart that Dot has probably never been inside the hallowed space of Cleveland’s grand library, so they’ll have to make a date in the future. It also occurs to him that most of the people who enter this building do so singly – rarely in couples or groups.
He begs Dots forgiveness while he stops to make notes of his library observations in a little binder that Miss Tallmage calls a “bank book,” used for collecting thoughts, images, ideas, etc.
To catch up on answering his letters from Dot, he pulls a letter written Oct. 17 from the stack. That’s the one Dot wrote when she was especially lonesome for him. “Dot, I can’t be happy without you. Mother and Dad thought that’s what was wrong with me the other night. Your absence was only part of what was bothering me then, But it bothers me all the time. I don’t suppose I’ll be happy all the time, even with you, but it’ll surely help. Sometimes nothing can cheer me up, but most of the time you can. I need you for companionship and love.”
“I’m so lucky! There are few men in the world who can receive all the love of a person who loves so deeply, so passionately, so truly, so unashamedly as you. That I should be one of the few who has chosen one of the few like you leaves me in a constant state of thankfulness and humility. I love you, I’m proud of you, and I’m proud that you love me. I miss you with all the emptiness that is my life when you are away from me.”
Next, he responds to her letter of the 16th. He expects that next weekend will be a big one. He has the football rally at church on Friday night and the fan trip all day Sunday. He’ll have to do his homework on the fly and he expects there will be a great deal of that. He’s eager for that train trip. So far his group alone has enough guests to reserve an entire car and they’ve invited another club to join them.
No, he doesn’t have a Hi Y group this year. He wishes he did because he keeps getting great ideas for programs he’d like to do, but he just doesn’t think he has the time.
He writes that at last he thinks he understands what she means by “chasing around.” All he knows is that he craves any date with her!
He fills most of the remainder of the page my writing “I LOVE YOU” in giant red letters. Then he writes, “See – I love you big, too, and I’m always ‘reddy’ to tell you.”
# # #
Dot writes that both letters she received from Dart today require a great deal of though, but she wants to assure him that the thin ice he was on held up under the strain, so he’s safe.
Her mother explained to her that she thought the only reason Dot questioned going to the Rucquois house was because her mother had asked. Ruth assumed that Dot would have had no problem with it if her cousin had asked her directly. From Dot’s perspective, that excuse doesn’t really get at the heart of the matter, but it’s all her mother had to say on the subject. “Maybe Mother and I are too much alike to live in harmony, but I don’t really think so.”
As for Dart’s unsolicited advice that she talk things over with her father, she writes that her Dad has too much on his mind for her to add any more. El has been very upset lately and that troubles her father a great deal. “I never meant to sound like a poor, stepped-on ‘black sheep.’ I haven’t been, as you seem to think, ‘packed and pushed around all my life.’ I went to Maine some summers because I like the Knowltons and they like me. They liked the influence I seemed to have on their adopted daughter and we got along well together. During the winter, Ann would do nothing but sit inside and read movie magazines unless I’d go up there and suggest we go ice skating or something. So you see, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.”
“Andrews School was also my idea. …Maybe the fact that I wanted to go away showed that home life didn’t agree with me. I know I always was shy and more self-conscience than I am now before I went to Andrews.”
Furthermore, she vows that she will not try to stop acting so childish, she will stop acting that way. “It has rarely happened in the past, and I shall see that it never happens again. However, if I ever do anything to upset you again, please tell me about it at that time. Sometimes you keep things in so long that by the time it all comes to a head, I’ve forgotten what it was I did.”
She reports that when she asked Eleanor if they should get married this winter or wait until next June, she was emphatic that this winter was the far better choice. Dot realizes how hurt El was by her cancelled wedding and knows that El believes if she and Don had married sooner, things would have turned out better. In many ways, Dot thinks it would be wiser if they got married sooner. One reason is that if they were living in his parent’s attic, they could be paying rent to his folks, which would help them out tremendously. She could get a job paying $120 a month and Dart would have his $90. “$210.00 can be stretched a long way every month if two people set their minds to it.”
To marry in December would require some rapid plans, but it’s possible. If he is sure his folks would come out for a June wedding, then that’s what she wants to do, but she thinks they will have a new set of excuses by then. “Dad seems to think he could sell your father’s lamps at the shop. How ’bout we sell him on the idea of making a business trip in June? And the excuse of not having proper clothing doesn’t hold water in this family. Dad’s only had one suit for as long as I can remember. And all of Mom’s clothes were either Aunt Bonney’s or Mrs. McCully’s before she got them. And who would see your parent’s luggage except people on the train that they’ll never see again?”
She tells Dart that she spoke with her father about the possibility that Dart’s parents would not come out for the wedding. He responded that they absolutely would be there. He said he’d drive to Ohio and bring them back, if need be. “He said he wouldn’t hear of them missing their son’s wedding, and neither will I!”
When Dot mentioned the idea of an earlier wedding to her mother, Ruth said that whatever worked for Dot and Dart was fine with her. “Whatever we decide, it’s perfectly agreeable to everyone at this end of the line.”
Dot takes an entire page to assure Dart that she’s not trying to sell him on any ideas. She only wants to say that there are pros and cons to both a December and a June wedding, and she wants to do whatever he decides is the best path. They must make no decisions until they agree that they will never regret whatever decision they make.
She thanks him for asking about Harriet. She’s doing quite well. Her doctor told her weeks ago that she’d never make it to her Nov. 6 due date, and when she went in last week, he said, “Well, what the hell are you waiting for?”
It’s all very hush-hush, but Dot Rucquois is in the same condition. She’d been told she could have no more children unless she had an operation. Just as she was deciding to go ahead with the surgery, she discovered she was pregnant. This will be her first child to be born in America, and she’s very excited.
“I’m very weary, Darling, but also very much in love. Do you mind if I end this here and lie awake thinking about us? I don’t mean to preach, Dart, but try not to get too discouraged. God knows the needs of all of us and he will provide. Don’t ever feel you’ve been cheated out of something because you’re the kind of person you are. You’ll be paid back with dividends. Oh, I love you so very much.”