Category Archives: Dot’s Letters

May 4, 1945

20. May 1945, Dart's Letters, Dot's Letters

Dart announces that he has finally been assigned a real bunk. He says that enough men have “transferred’ off the ship that there is now space for him in a regular sleeping area. If one knows what happened to the Haggard just days ago, one might assume that “transferred” is a clue about it. Transferred to a hospital ship, perhaps? Or, tragically, transferred Stateside in a casket? In any case he says, “I expect to rest my raw bones in a real bunk tonight, for the second time since I left the good old USA.” He explains that his first occasion to sleep in a bunk came one night in sick bay aboard the Admiral Coontz, en route to the Haggard.

He writes a humorous description of those bunks. They were stacked five layers high and constructed of canvas slings that sagged very low beneath the frame work that suspended them. He drew a little sketch of a tower of skinny sailors lounging in their bunks. Each man’s “center of gravity” drooped low into the space that the man below him would have occupied, if he, too were not drooping far below his bunk frame. The poor guy on the bottom was essentially resting his rump directly on the deck.

Having filled one whole page with chatter about his sleeping arrangements, Dart describes his new job in the mess. He’s up before reveille and doesn’t finish until after 7:00 PM, but he’s not required to serve on work parties. Yesterday while he washed dishes, other sailors hauled heavy ammunition all over the decks. This job has it’s perks.

He closes with the wish that they will get mail soon. It feels like months since he’s heard from Dot, but it’s really only two weeks. Perhaps some of his eagerness for news is because he himself has so much news to share that cannot be shared.

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As Dot begins to write, she finds herself wishing she were curled up next to Dart on the couch, talking to him instead of writing. She misses him so much, but she finds one fault in her wish – that is the fact that she does better “talking” in a letter than she does face-to-face. “I hope by the time you get home, I’ll be cured.” She recalls that Wednesday afternoon when she tried to explain why she couldn’t express herself. “As soon as you parked the car I started to pray, ‘Please help me prove I have a heart and a tongue. Keep me from blushing and silence my heartbeat so it can’t be heard way down at the Square.’ Oh, but alas, I couldn’t say ‘boo,’ my heartbeat fairly shook the car, and I blushed so violently the sky reflected it and we had a gorgeous sunset!”

Tonight she is babysitting way out on the outskirts of Greenwich with two “devil children.” They’ve been running her ragged all evening and their parents won’t be home until about 2:00 AM.

She talks about her little brother and her niece going into Madison Square Garden tomorrow to see the Ringling Brothers Circus, courtesy of Franklin Simon. The store purchased enough tickets for nearly every child in Greenwich to attend.

Dot reminds Dart that just a year ago tonight, she was having her second visit to his family’s home in Cleveland. While she was there, Dart called from Great Lakes Hospital and it was so wonderful to hear his voice. “Golly, it doesn’t seem possible a year has slipped by so fast, and yet, some ways it seems ages since that time.”

Dot believes this has been a wasted year for her. She seems no more mature than when she left school, her bank account has grown very little. “I have neither taken from society that which might benefit me, nor given anything to the world that would help in solving its many problems. The only thing she has learned is the value of a lost year – a year that can neither be relived, replaced, nor renewed. Perhaps this lesson will awaken her to the need to make something of her life. “With you as the model, I should be able to come as near to perfection as you, but you have the makings already there. I’ll have to scout around for some.”

What little regard this young woman has for her tremendous qualities of hard work, good humor, patience with young children, honesty, compassion and a positive outlook. I’m sure Dart will be happy to enlighten her.

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May 5, 1945

20. May 1945, Dot's Letters

Wow! Dot sure does cram a lot of chat into this little letter! For the first time in ages, she’s back babysitting at the Pecsok’s house. Little Chuck has grown a lot and Linda is almost a year old. For the second time in as many days, Dot reminds Dart of events that she wrote about last year when he was a perpetual patient in Great Lakes Hospital.

As soon as Dot arrived today, Mr. Pecsok put on some square dance music and began to twirl Dot around the living room. When the music switched to a waltz tempo, he danced with Dot in perfect 3/4 time. She drew the line when the marching started! “Do you realize that’s the first time I’ve danced since October 16th, 1943? That is, if you stretch the meaning of the word dance and call what I was doing tonight dancing. Little did I know a year and a half ago that I’d want to spend the rest of my life dancing with you. Oh sure, I had big dreams, but I didn’t think they’d ever come true.”

Tomorrow, she sits with Chris and Eric Miller. She has plans with the Millers every Sunday throughout the summer. They have a very nice sail boat that Mr. Miller built by hand. On alternate Sundays, she’ll escort the boys for a Miller family sail. On the “off” weeks, she and the boys will stay home while Mr. and Mrs. Miller sail alone. What a great way to spend a summer, if you love to sail as much as Dot does.

She and Nancy are going to see “A Song to Remember” tomorrow night, on the recommendation of her parents. Although Dot’s not too keen on Merle Oberon, any movie that took seven years to complete must be worth seeing.

She hopes Dart forgives her for ending the letter to get some sleep. She was up until 3:00 AM this morning, and she’s been cleaning or babysitting all day.

No letters tomorrow or the next day, but Dot will return on the 8th and Dart on the 10th.

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May 8, 1945

20. May 1945, Dart's Letters, Dot's Letters

There’s little to say and not much time to say it, but Dart manages to fill three small pages nonetheless. The ship’s mail petty officer has taken the launch out every day in search of mail for the Haggard, but to no avail.

Dart’s payday was today and he had earned $126. From that he withdrew $15 to live on. He wishes he could have bought a money order to send something for his brother Burke to pay for an anniversary gift for his folks, but the sale of money orders was prohibited this pay period for unexplained reasons. Besides, he hasn’t heard from Burke to know what he decided to buy the folks and how much Dart owes.

He says that whether he’s able to write of not, he has plenty of time to think up ideas for their house. Unfortunately, by the time he gets a chance to sketch out his ideas, he’s forgotten half of them. He hopes a 12 x 18 living room is large enough, because that’s what he and his buddies have based cost estimates on. That room, adjacent to a 9 x 12 dining room will look quite impressive. He says rooms that big are usually hard to heat, but he and his friends have worked out a solution to that problem. Our Dart is still a frustrated engineer, I think, in spite of washing out of engineering school at Case.

In response to a letter from Dot he says he’s never been to any of the places her brother has seen, but the Haggard did have a hand in preparing for some of the actions that Gordon has been involved with. He’s by now managed to figure out the time difference between where he is and Greenwich. If he told her, however, Dot (and the enemy) would be able to pinpoint where on the globe he is, so he must not tell her. “It’s awfully far to be away from someone you love so dearly.”

He has thoroughly enjoyed the hour he’s spent writing to the loveliest girl in the world.

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It is V-E-Day! The exclamation point at the end of the sentence is all the celebrating Dot will do. Anything else would seem like throwing a party when the guest of honor wasn’t there. She’s putting all her prayers and hopes into a speedy end to Dart’s war in the Pacific. She is. however so grateful that millions of families in Europe are breathing freely tonight for the first time in 5-1/2 years.

At Eleanor’s birthday dinner tonight, the family sang the Navy hymn and offered prayers for Dart and Gordon’s quick return.

Franklin-Simon closed the store when the news broke about the victory in Europe today. Dot and some of the other girls stopped in a church on the way home to say a prayer of gratitude. She doesn’t think God would mind at all that they prayed in a Catholic church, even though none of them was Catholic.

Dot believes that if everyone on earth loved someone as much as she loves Dart, there would be no more war. Everyone would be so focused on making their loved one happy that there’d be no time for anything else.

The lull in mail that Dart predicted two weeks ago has now been going on for about 10 days. She’s not complaining because he’s so dependable when he is able to write. She takes comfort in thinking that the two of them might be thinking of each other at the same time on some days.

She loved “A Song to Remember,” but she was a little shocked at Chopin’s “shady” life. Even though her Dad explained that his lifestyle was common for artists of his day, Dot doesn’t believe her ideals would have allowed her to live like that, no matter what the majority thought was alright.

She must sleep now. There are no letters tomorrow, but Dart returns on the 10th.

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May 12, 1945

20. May 1945, Dot's Letters

Such a sad and poignant letter from Dot today.

She would rather have had this heart-to-heart with Dart in person, but time is passing, with no indication of when they might have the chance for a long, serious face-to-face talk, so she feels she needs to write this now.

Posing the question, “Why do you love me?” she assures him that she is not fishing for complements, but rather, trying desperately to understand what he sees in her.

“When I think of why I love you, I realize you couldn’t love me for the same reason because I don’t possess the same qualities you do. You’re ambitious and intelligent. You have such a keen sense of humor, and at the same time such downright straight-forward thinking. You seem to know right from wrong in every case and have such strong will power to follow your own convictions. Besides all of these qualities, you’re kind, very courteous and just an all around swell guy. And just for good measure, let’s throw in the fact that you’re tall, dark and handsome.”

But, she muses, none of that explains what he sees in her. She’s nearly 19 and has accomplished nearly nothing in her life. He writes that she’s “charming” and “lovely,” but she’s too much of a Tom-boy to be either. She knows right from wrong, but doesn’t “do much about it.” She has big ideas, but rarely follows them through because she gets so easily discouraged. She believes she’s unworthy of his love and doesn’t want him saddling himself with a girl as obviously inferior as she is.

We’ve seen this low self image reflected a lot in her letters, but it’s painful to read it expressed so emphatically. Where does it come from? Partly, I think it stems from living in a family that are big on teasing, and, although she seems to be a good sport, sometimes that teasing must cut a little, especially when it comes from her beloved father. She also mentions Mr. Hibschman from Andrews School, whom she has always claimed didn’t like her much. For all we know, he may have been an arrogant, judgemental son of a gun, but his disapproval of Dot stings even now that she has graduated and left the campus. The character that people admire so much in her – her easy way with children, her hard work, her friendly and positive nature – are traits she either doesn’t recognize or doesn’t value.

Dart on the other hand, who himself is sometimes prone to moodiness and seeing things on the dark side, sees in Dot a breath of fresh air, a spark of light and joy that cannot be squelched. He values her honesty – not just in the fact that she tells the truth, but that she couldn’t obfuscate or be phony if you paid her. He knows that her natural, unadorned prettiness on the outside reflects her inner naturalness and goodness. With Dot, what you see is what you get, and he likes everything he sees in her.

She was thrilled to get three letters from Dart today after a two- week drought. She loves his drawings for the house, but she agrees that he’ll have to find a way to increase the size of the kitchen. Her father still doesn’t believe the house can be built for under $12,000, but admits he doesn’t know much about costs outside of the greater New York City area. To do her part toward building the house, she intends to buy a war savings bond. She explains that she’ll put it into his name, and if he ends up marrying someone else, he can consider it a wedding present from her. The she adds, “Dot, how can you talk of such things so lightly?”

It’s off to bed for her now, as she wishes her “scullery maid” goodnight, with a warning that he must not get dish pan hands.

With Dart’s gift for addressing serious subjects with a poetic, gentle touch, I’m eager to read his response to this letter.

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May 14, 1945

20. May 1945, Dot's Letters

This is one of the most thoughtful, honest and mature letters that Dot has written to date. Today’s mail brought Dart’s second letter in response to her comment about wanting to join the WAVEs. This was the particularly emphatic one he wrote to her after stewing over the idea for a couple of days. She writes, “Had I thought for one moment that my wanting to join the WAVEs would disturb you so much, I would have banished the idea completely. Oh, how I wish you’d get a letter saying I can’t join so I would stop getting letters from you telling me what would happen to me, and to us, if I could and did join. Dart, that first letter from you was enough to dissuade me, or anyone else, for that matter.”

She tells him that she is not going to be joining the WAVWs, even when she’s old enough, but she poses a good question. “What then, my dear boy, do you suggest I do? You gave me the same spiel about the Cadet Nurse Corps, and said I’d meet ‘the wrong kind of people’ in a defense plant. Darling, I have to know how the other 99% live sometime. Must I sit here and wait for you to come home and formally introduce me to ‘life’? There’s nothing I’d like better, nor one I’d rather learn things from than you, but unfortunately, I have to keep on living while you’re away.”

You tell ‘im, Dot! But, she makes another point or two. “You, apparently, have withheld nothing of your feelings toward women in the service. But in spite of all you say, I’ll bet there are thousands of boys who have thanked God, and thousands more who have yet to thank God, for the Army and Navy nurses. ”

She goes on to say that she was not really hurt by anything he said, although she thought some of his statements were rather harsh. She was terribly disappointed to learn she couldn’t join, but this just proves her belief that things have a tendency to work out as they’re supposed to. “If there was anything in your letter that hurt me, it was your suggestion that I might be joining for reasons other than doing what I thought best to end this God-awful war.”

And now, she illustrates her wisdom of knowing when to hold back from writing some things to Dart, and when the time is right to drop a little bomb. She tells him that she has learned some of the unsavory aspects of life all on her own, even without being in the service. She has refrained from telling him about such instances because “I thought you’d make more of it than it was, like you have with this WAVE business.” She then tells him the story of Jamey, a friend of Harriet and George, whom Dot abhors. Jamey knows her feelings and does everything in his power to make her say otherwise. The other night, Dot was at H & G’s house to sit with Toni Gale while they hosted a dinner party. At some point in the evening, Dot was called into the dining room and everyone left except Jamey. He took off her coat and told her to sit in the chair. She turned to go into the kitchen where the other people were, but he grabbed her arm and pushed her onto the chair. He knelt in front of her, loudly proclaimed his love for her and said he would not allow her to leave until she kissed him. She refused…adamantly. “Maybe you think this all sounds funny, as did the guests who had gathered at the doorway and were looking on, but it was not a bit funny to me!” She tells Dart that it would have been a lot easier, albeit unpleasant, to just kiss him and get it over with, but she refused. “Because on the night of November 9th, 1944, I made you a promise that I would never kiss nor let anyone kiss me, but you. That’s a promise I intend to keep, if I never kiss another soul. I sat there for about 10 minutes being laughed at, and it was the longest 10 minutes I’ve ever spent. ”

She wraps up this letter on a very sensible note when she says she wishes they had been able to talk before, instead of being so much in love they were tongue-tied on their few days together. But she likes his request to kiss and make up. “We’ve discussed this fairly sensibly now, and no one is hurt…Guess I’ll turn out the light and have a good cry. I miss you so much it’s nearly unbearable. Please stay as understanding as you are, and let’s have these talks often.”

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May 15, 1945

20. May 1945, Dot's Letters

Here’s a short and newsy note from Dot. She blames Dart for the brevity of this one, because she took him up on his suggestion to read “The Robe,” and she’s finding it hard to put down.

The 7th War Bond Sale started at Franklin-Simon today. Every employee is encouraged to sell $500 worth by the end of the sale and Dot scored big with a $100 sale this morning. Now she’s inspired to make a real project of this and sell a lot. The store is ranking the employees by the amount they sell, with everyone starting as a lowly private. Dot is already a corporal, with her eye on 5-star general.

She wishes him sweet dreams in his new bed.

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May 16, 1945

20. May 1945, Dart's Letters, Dot's Letters

Dart writes a short letter today. It’s been more than three weeks since he’s received any mail at all, making it very hard to keep his vow to not write disgruntled letters home. When that mail delivery finally gets there, it’ll be a whopper!

Rather surprisingly, he asks Dot an out-of-the-blue question: What would you think if I signed up for 6 years in the regular Navy? He’s heard of the many benefits, such as opportunity for advancement and higher pay, a chance to learn a trade, plenty of time off, if you’re in the US to collect your liberty, and education through travel. “What would you say? It would mean a lot.”

Then, the tone changes. “It would mean signing away every single thing I’m fighting for now, and every bit of happiness I’m looking forward to when this war’s over. Being the wife of a Navy man is no fun, I hear. And being a husband in the Navy is equally ‘no fun.’ But those recruiting promises sound awfully enticing!” (Was this his subtle way of saying “Beware the WAVEs,” without harping on her again?)

He enclosed a snapshot that someone took of him on deck after the previous set taken a few days ago didn’t turn out.

His P.S. says, in tiny letters “Don’t worry about my signing over. I won’t do it.”

This reminds me of a story Dad told occasionally – one of the few he told about his time in the service. As he was disembarking for the final time from his ship, leaving the Navy for the long-awaited return to civilian life, he was being processed out by one of the more senior crew members. The other guy read from a clipboard Dart’s name and rank, except it was a rank a couple of steps above where Dart really was. Dart told him that the name was correct, but the rank was wrong. The officer replied, “That rank is right, if you’ll sign up for the regular Navy.” Dart smiled, saluted, and scurried down the gangway, leaving the Navy forever behind him.

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This succinct note begins with “Well, I have yet to hear from your mother, and then the cycle will be complete. Today I received a letter from Fred saying -you know what.”

And the WAVE issue raises it’s head again. She says that Fred writes in a very similar style to Dart (“Four pages of the same sort of stuff.”) She’s not sure how to respond to him. She says that Dart is used to her incorrect spelling and poor grammar, but she fears she’ll shock Fred with it. She hopes his opinion of Dart will not be diminished by getting a letter from his B.G.F. Unlike the two guys, she claims she’s not able to make words sound like music. (Well, I think the music they’ve sent her has it’s share of sour notes.)

Too tired to stay awake, she closes with the hope that she’ll dream of Dart and with a prayer that God bless and protect him.

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May 17, 1945

20. May 1945, Dot's Letters

Dot is happy to have received her third letter from Dart in just a few days.

She’s ashamed to admit that she forgot to write to his brother Burke to try and coordinate a silver anniversary gift for Helen and Dart, Sr. She’s at a loss as to what kind of gift would be good. Her mother suggested engraved silver napkin rings, but Dot knows the Chamberlains are the only family who still use such things. She’ll write to Burke tomorrow and see what he’s considering.

She’s about to send 10 packs of Pall Mall cigarettes to Dart, Sr. because she gets a kick out of finding things that are hard to find. Although she knows they’d  make a bad anniversary gift, she quips that Mr. Peterson is welcome to share the cigarettes with his wife (a non-smoker.)

How she wishes she could help plan their future house, but no ideas are coming to her. She thinks a 12 x 18 living room would be ample. “Remember, I’m going to have to keep it clean, so I don’t want an auditorium. And if there’s ever such a crowd in the room that they fill it, what would be wrong with some of the guests hanging from the beams? ”

El has decided to quite her job at the bank. Although she likes the work, she’s tired of the commute into the city. She’s been hired by a Greenwich department store, in the office, for the same salary as the bank, but she won’t have to pay for her lunch or the train.

Tomorrow Dot will have her eyes examined because they’ve been bothering her a great deal. She fears that her glasses are too weak and that by the time Dart returns, her lenses will be as thick as plate glass windows. How she hates wearing glasses! (It’s funny, she never wore glasses while I was a kid – not until she was in her 40s, I think.) Now, she writes that if she doesn’t get some sleep, her eyes will not even be able to see the big E at the top of the chart.

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May 18, 1945

20. May 1945, Dart's Letters, Dot's Letters

Dart’s letter today is his best attempt to keep in touch, even though he has still not received any news from home. His job in the kitchen (galley) has begun to wear on him. He say’s it’s a great assignment for those who don’t object to petty theft (or grand larceny), but for him, it’s just plain hard and tedious work. It’s made more difficult by the “gold brick twins,” two men who are on permanent KP because no other division on the ship will have them. They are lazy and surly and Dart tries to keep his distance. He’s gone from scullery to steam table to bread table and is now “cox’n of the spuds,” peeling all manner of vegetables all day long. He still doesn’t know if this is a 6-week or a 3-month assignment, but either way, he’s looking forward to its end.

“As in everywhere else I’ve been, there’d be some changes made if I were in charge. I don’t intend to be, nor do I expect to be, so my changes will remain inside my head. They probably wouldn’t be much good anyway.”

He saw a movie last night that he remembers Dot writing about months ago. It’s called “The Navy Way” and it’s a kind of soft propaganda film about boot camp at Great Lakes. Dart enjoyed seeing all the familiar sights of his months there, but thought it was a fairly sanitized version of boot camp.

Some of the guys created a diving mask so they could explore water deeper than Dart wants to swim in. They used some rubber hose and an old gas mask – ingenious! Recently they brought up a piece of live coral. Rather than the brown, twiggy stuff Dart was expecting, it was a beautiful thing – dark glossy green at the base, bright red in the middle, and pale pink at the tips. He reports, however, that it really stinks as it’s dying and drying.

Now comes a clear example of how fouled up communication can become when mail is delayed by weeks. We see that he is still obsessing about the whole WAVE issue. “Dot, I’ve thought a great deal about your wanting to join…Perhaps I should never have said a thing. Regardless of the censure…I believe that all I said was true. But I also believe that it’s your decision to make as you see fit. So do as you please. I’ll be proud of you and my faith in you can’t be lowered by a mere thing like that. It’s my nature, though, to say ‘I told you so.’ There, you know what I thought when I first heard the news, and what I think a month later. I hope that when mail again gets to us, I’ll have the news that you changed your mind.”

The lack of mail is having an affect on the whole crew, especially when they see ships all around them getting regular mail deliveries.

“Goodnight, my Darling Dot. I look forward always to the far-future date when every evening can be like our last Thursday in Cleveland; and more than that.”

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Dot writes that today was E-Bond Day at Franklin Simons I’m not sure what ‘E-bonds” are, other than war bonds, but maybe Mom will remember and can enlighten me. Anyway, for one hour, starting at 11:00 AM, no merchandise could be sold at the store so that sales clerks could concentrate on selling the war bonds. Dot reports that some customers resented the idea, but others got into the spirit of it all. She sold a total of $150 worth to add to her $100 sale the other day, putting her at half her quota. She certainly hopes she can sell a lot more.

Tonight when she got home from work, she decided to mow the lawn. She was rewarded with several blisters and very sore hands, but the place looks much better. I wonder where her teenage brother Doug was when the lawn needed mowing? That reminded me of a story that became family lore when I was a kid. Doug, who spent most of his life living at home with his mother, was very concerned when her saw his old mom struggling to mow the lawn with an old push mower. He was so excited and proud when he gave her a power mower for her 75th birthday!

Dot got new glasses today – not much of a change from her old ones, but she hopes it helps with the headaches she’s been getting.

Betty B. is feeling poorly today, so Dot’s father brought some ice cream home to make her feel better. She’s sharing it with the whole family, but Dot is determined not to fall into temptation. She’s still trying very hard to trim down.

She’s sorry this letter is short and uninteresting, but she’s sure Dart could help if he’d just come by and change up the routine of her days a little. She also hopes that by now he’s received word that she is NOT joining the WAVEs! She reminds him to please write to her friend Nancy, or ask one of his buddies to do so.  With that, she signs off with all her love, forever.

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May 21, 1945

20. May 1945, Dart's Letters, Dot's Letters

Dart is jubilant! It’s a red letter, front page news, call-out-the-Marines kind of day. He got mail; two letters from the “most adorable girl God ever sent to a fellow,” and one from his parents. Ironically, neither letter from Dot was the one he yearns for. Neither was written on April 10. Neither gave him the answer to his nagging fear about the WAVEs. Still, he was overjoyed to get them.

He heartily supports any method Dot uses to get his parents to agree to a trip to Greenwich for their 25th anniversary celebration. He thinks it would be a great idea for them for many reasons.

In the final paragraph, Dart slips in a teeny zinger when he asks Dot about her upcoming vacation. “Is it a pre-induction leave, or just a plain vacation?”

I hope this poor boy gets some relief from the burning question soon.

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Dot’s letter was quite brief. She went into New Your City yesterday to attend her friend Nancy’s graduation. While there, she met Nancy’s English teacher, who “if he wasn’t married and hadn’t two children, and if I didn’t love you so much, and if he were about 10 years younger, I could really go for. He spoke almost as beautifully as Ronald Coleman and was almost as good looking as you.”

Because she got back to town so late, she’s really tired this morning. She’s hoping a letter waiting for her at home on her lunch break will wake her up a little.

That’s all, but both Dot and Dart will be back tomorrow.

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