Dart hints at the difficult content of his letter when he draws a long-necked turtle at the top, with the following caption:  Me, with my neck stuck out. I still don’t know whether I should mail this or not.

He says he is so despondent himself that maybe he shouldn’t be writing tonight, but he got Dot’s letter about the accusations of selfishness made against her and decided that maybe he’s not so bad off after all.

Although he doesn’t like to take sides, especially when his own house is not in perfect order, he feels compelled to add his penny’s worth. From the way she described the incident, he feels strongly that she was unfairly accused. He doesn’t understand why people act so badly at times, and he’s tried for a long time to understand what’s going on between Dot and her mother that leads to such blow-ups.

“After all the helpful things you do for people, a remark like the one you said your mother made was certainly thoughtless, inconsiderate and (pardon me) idiotic. How can your mother be so short-sighted? Is she compensating in some way for not wanting to help herself? The very idea of thinking you selfish because you’d be late to the Rucquois’ house on school nights! I probably wouldn’t have done it, but I’d surely have been tempted to tell ’em to take a long swim in the Sound with that sort of guff.”

“For a college graduate, sometimes your mother shows surprisingly little sense. She seems to say such things in front of company a great deal, doesn’t she? How does she expect you to be a balanced or emotionally stable individual when she keeps throwing that stuff at you?”

He wonders if she could cry on her father’s shoulder, since she obviously holds him in high regard. He must be an understanding person and she should be able to talk things over with him.

He’s bewildered by what he calls the “active rejection” her mother has subjected her to. He’s hurt by the way she’s been “packed and pushed around” all her life. He refers to her summers in Maine and then Andrews School all the way in Willoughby, Ohio. His letter takes a surprising turn at this point when he refers to Dot as unbalanced because of the way she’s been treated. He says he doesn’t expect marriage to change that, because that’s not the role of marriage, but maybe a change in environment would cause her instability to vanish. “I’m hoping for that, because with the help of God, I hope to understand you better than your mother does.”

Then he tells her of a time when she impressed him as being childishly selfish. It was while they were having dinner at The Flume. She wanted his attention, so she started making sounds and speaking baby talk. She even pinched him repeatedly until he could no longer ignore her. “I got pretty disgusted then, and you knew it. Can’t you try and break that habit of acting like a six-year-old whenever you want something? It’s not becoming to an adult. I have an idea you do such things because you, yourself cannot resist the pleas of a six-year-old (or a three-year-old) who uses such tactics. Please remember, Dot, that kids have to grow up. We’d get awfully tired of them if they stayed between three and six for 20 years.”

Not knowing when to quit, her reminds her that she likes to torment him in public, just as her mother torments her. He wonders if she can stop doing that, or would she learn faster if he poked back at her. Otherwise, he just lets it simmer until it comes out in words that could hurt them both. He wraps up with an insulting question: Oh, Dottie, is there any way I can help you grow up?

I must confess to doing a slow burn here. She comes to him in a vulnerable state to share a painful episode between her mother and herself. While he acknowledges that her mother is in the wrong in this instance, he cannot keep from kicking her when she’s down! His pop-psychology and self-righteousness is not what she really needs right now. And he talks to her of “growing up” when he’s living rent-free with destitute parents, whining occasionally about having to cook some of his own meals and not recognizing that his exhausted mother is still changing the sheets on his bed! He hangs with friends and plays with trains, expecting some kind of accolades when he helps out at a church gathering. Just a bit self-centered, perhaps? It’s a good thing Dot had the blind love to look past his transgressions and the patience to live with him while he matured into the more thoughtful being that I knew as my father! Sometimes, I think Dot was a 20-year-old saint!

He begs her forgiveness if he has overstepped in this letter and then tells her he’s grateful he had someone else’s troubles to stew over instead of just his own. He admits that tonight he has cried until his eyes are red over his father’s disconnect from reality. “…waiting for his ship to come in when he hasn’t even sent one out” Dart, Sr. realizes that he may never work again and that he’ll never be able to repay the money he borrowed from his son. Dart realizes he must begin to pay board next month, even if he must hide the fact from his father, but he sees no way he’ll reach the $300 savings goal by June.

He feels nearly as distraught as is father.

#          #          #

Dot’s letter must be brief because she needs to make up the shorthand that she missed last night. It’s getting more complicated, but she still enjoys it. “Remember me if you’re looking for a competent secretary in a few years.”

She thanks Dart for the clipping he sent her about two girls from Andrews School. (Engagement announcement?) She remembers Dorothy Fitzgerald as the girl who was expelled from the school after she was caught smoking.

It sounds to her like Homer went all out to make a great RR meeting. She’s so happy that he’s agreed to be in their wedding.

She hopes Dart will be able to convince his father to go on that train outing next week. She’s sure a recreational trip like that would improve his mood.

How nice that he sat in the park and talked with those kids. She’s known very few children between the ages of 8 and 15 who are in favor of siblings, but she agrees that she and Dart should strive for harmony in their home.

“You’ve told me several times that I frighten you.I certainly have no desire to do so. What’s that about? Are you afraid I’ve been bewitched by the devil?

As much fun as it’s been writing to him, she’s tired and must sleep.

It’s nearly midnight but Dart still has two hours worth of work to do – most of it preparation for his American Lit test. He knows some of what he’s supposed to know, but he’s heard that Mr. Carter gives tough tests and that he grades his English majors on a harder scale. Dart wishes he could keep all those old guys who wrote of Colonial times straight in his head.

It’s okay with him if she reads his letters with a supply of salt nearby. “I’m a worrier, I guess. But whenever I feel sure about things or make good predictions, things go just backwards. Can’t let that  happen so I worry and fret.”

What else should he say about her letter? He hopes she and El decide to go hiking with the church group. It could be loads of fun, and he wishes he could be there. He’s happy to read she likes her job better now. Also glad to know she doesn’t have to go to the Rucquois anymore. He wonders what’s wrong with Dot R. that she needs so much help, and that makes him wonder how Harriet is doing. Isn’t she about due for the big event?

“As I look back on my speaking to you about acting as though you didn’t care about learning, I remember that I act that way myself many times. Another example of seeing one’s own faults in others, whether others have them or not.”

He was talking to Pop today about himself and Dot. Pop said that he and Mom had expected them to get married sooner than June and that would be fine with them. They even thought that earlier might have been better than June! (Now they say something!) Dart told him that they wouldn’t feel right about getting married without Mom and Pop there. “Pop seems a bit squeamish about big weddings and I can’t convince him that such things are all in the Chamberlain stride, and all he has to do is relax and be carried along with the flow. Pop said it would be fine for us to get married without them, but I put my foot down fast!”

Dart continues to say that he’s glad they’ve had this Fall apart so that he could get squared away about that big misunderstanding they went through. He’s fine with it now, and convinced that he was in the wrong. He wishes they had decided to get married at Christmas, and he’d even suggest they try to make that happen now if his parents could get there and if their own situation were slightly better. “Mom and Pop said that as long as they have a roof, we’ll have one. There’s not that much that’s keeping us from our ideal. “Good night Dot. I love you and miss you until it hurts. (Your phrase, but it’s very much applicable to the situation.)”

#          #          #

In response to a question Dart posed in one of the two letters Dot received today, she writes, “How is it that I can say so much in so few words? Perhaps the answer is that I don’t say anything anyway, so it is just as well to get it over with as quickly as possible.”

The letter he wrote on Sunday gave her a warm glow and made her feel even more lonesome than before. Just as she was fighting back tears, she flipped the last page over and saw his silly drawing of the dancing couple. “You loony nut! If you don’t mind, I’m going to try and make a large copy of it to put on the wall.”

The longer she works at the phone company, the more she likes it. Today they took a lot of real calls and she gets a kick out of those. She’s been invited to join other employees in the nice company dining room tomorrow night for a spaghetti dinner. At first she declined the invitation because she wanted to come home and check the mail over her break, but she was granted the few minutes it’ll take to complete that task so that she could still join in the fun.

Her supervisor also informed her today that she’s making $30.00 per week now, instead of the $28.00 she was told she’d be paid. There is a $2.00 bonus for anyone who works past 6:00 PM.  Dot has no complaints about that! Her boss, Mrs. Knapp told her that it should be fairly easy for her to transfer to the business side of the company if she completes her shorthand course. Although Mrs. Knapp is not too pleased to lose Dot to Cleveland in June. She suggests Dot convince Dart to move to Greenwich instead.

Even though she missed the previous class, her shorthand instructor gave Dot extra attention tonight and says Dot is completely caught up with the rest of the class now.

“Surely when you take the time to write a 6-page letter about your ideas of a well-rounded college education, I ought to be able to make some outstanding comment. However, you know me well enough to know that any comment I might make wouldn’t be outstanding. I agree with you 100% but that’s small consolation for such a masterpiece. I certainly haven’t specialized in anything, but I don’t consider myself well educated. I’ve worked at everything from gas station attendant to practical nurse and I doubt that anyone envies me my varied and sundry positions.”

She tells Dart that she’s glad he writes such letters because it makes her proud to know she will marry a man with sound ideas that he can express well.

Even though it’s time for bed, she plans to read another chapter or two of “Rebecca.” Speaking of which, “Don’t you think ‘Becky Peterson’ sound cute? I want your honest opinion, but I can just picture a cute little brown-haired, brown-eyed girl who answers to the name of Becky. Sorta getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?”

Well, Dot, you were about 35 years ahead of having a cute little brown-haired, brown-eyed daughter-in-law who answers to the name of Becky Peterson!

At the top of the page Dart draws a little pot-bellied mad wearing plaid pants and playing a saxophone. He remarks that the little man isn’t him, because he’s done nothing today to blow his own horn about. He did, however, get that haircut.

His hospitalization insurance is due soon and he wanted to get the Sunapee pictures from the Kodak store, so he took Uncle Tom up on his offer of money, he borrowed $10 and got both the insurance bill and the photo prints. (Uncle Tom claims he’s got lots of cash.)

Dart has an idea to get an enlargement of print 22-1 to give to Dot’s father for Christmas, so she should keep it under her hat. (The idea, not the photo.)

Today he spent two hours at the Cleveland public library reading the book he’s chosen for his next book report. “Histories of the Dividing Line Betwixt Virginia and North Carolina,” by William Byrd. It is such a rare book that it is not allowed to leave the library, but it is on hold for Dart to use whenever he requests it. It occurs to Dart that Dot has probably never been inside the hallowed space of Cleveland’s grand library, so they’ll have to make a date in the future. It also occurs to him that most of the people who enter this building do so singly – rarely in couples or groups.

He begs Dots forgiveness while he stops to make notes of his library observations in a little binder that Miss Tallmage calls a “bank book,” used for collecting thoughts, images, ideas, etc.

To catch up on answering his letters from Dot, he pulls a letter written Oct. 17 from the stack. That’s the one Dot wrote when she was especially lonesome for him. “Dot, I can’t be happy without you. Mother and Dad thought that’s what was wrong with me the other night. Your absence was only part of what was bothering me then, But it bothers me all the time. I don’t suppose I’ll be happy all the time, even with you, but it’ll surely help. Sometimes nothing can cheer me up, but most of the time you can. I need you for companionship and love.”

“I’m so lucky! There are few men in the world who can receive all the love of a person who loves so deeply, so passionately, so truly, so unashamedly as you. That I should be one of the few who has chosen one of the few like you leaves me in a constant state of thankfulness and humility. I love you, I’m proud of you, and I’m proud that you love me. I miss you with all the emptiness that is my life when you are away from me.”

Next, he responds to her letter of the 16th. He expects that next weekend will be a big one. He has the football rally at church on Friday night and the fan trip all day Sunday. He’ll have to do his homework on the fly and he expects there will be a great deal of that. He’s eager for that train trip. So far his group alone has enough guests to reserve an entire car and they’ve invited another club to join them.

No, he doesn’t have a Hi Y group this year. He wishes he did because he keeps getting great ideas for programs he’d like to do, but he just doesn’t think he has the time.

He writes that at last he thinks he understands what she means by “chasing around.” All he knows is that he craves any date with her!

He fills most of the remainder of the page my writing “I LOVE YOU” in giant red letters. Then he writes, “See – I love you big, too, and I’m always ‘reddy’ to tell you.”

#          #          #

Dot writes that both letters she received from Dart today require a great deal of though, but she wants to assure him that the thin ice he was on held up under the strain, so he’s safe.

Her mother explained to her that she thought the only reason Dot questioned going to the Rucquois house was because her mother had asked. Ruth assumed that Dot would have had no problem with it if her cousin had asked her directly. From Dot’s perspective, that excuse doesn’t really get at the heart of the matter, but it’s all her mother had to say on the subject. “Maybe Mother and I are too much alike to live in harmony, but I don’t really think so.”

As for Dart’s unsolicited advice that she talk things over with her father, she writes that her Dad has too much on his mind for her to add any more. El has been very upset lately and that troubles her father a great deal. “I never meant to sound like a poor, stepped-on ‘black sheep.’ I haven’t been, as you seem to think, ‘packed and pushed around all my life.’  I went to Maine some summers because I like the Knowltons and they like me. They liked the influence I seemed to have on their adopted daughter and we got along well together. During the winter, Ann would do nothing but sit inside and read movie magazines unless I’d go up there and suggest we go ice skating or something. So you see, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.”

“Andrews School was also my idea. …Maybe the fact that I wanted to go away showed that  home life didn’t agree with me. I know I always was shy and more self-conscience than I am now before I went to Andrews.”

Furthermore, she vows that she will not try to stop acting so childish, she will stop acting that way. “It has rarely happened in the past, and I shall see that it never happens again. However, if I ever do anything to upset you again, please tell me about it at that time. Sometimes you keep things in so long that by the time it all comes to a head, I’ve forgotten what it was I did.”

She reports that when she asked Eleanor if they should get married this winter or wait until next June, she was emphatic that this winter was the far better choice. Dot realizes how hurt El was by her cancelled wedding and knows that El believes if she and Don had married sooner, things would have turned out better. In many ways, Dot thinks it would be wiser if they got married sooner. One reason is that if they were living in his parent’s attic, they could be paying rent to his folks, which would help them out tremendously. She could get a job paying $120 a month and Dart would have his $90. “$210.00 can be stretched a long way every month if two people set their minds to it.”

To marry in December would require some rapid plans, but it’s possible. If he is sure his folks would come out for a June wedding, then that’s what she wants to do, but she thinks they will have a new set of excuses by then. “Dad seems to think he could sell your father’s lamps at the shop. How ’bout we sell him on the idea of making a business trip in June? And the excuse of not having proper clothing doesn’t hold water in this family. Dad’s only had one suit for as long as I can remember. And all of Mom’s clothes were either Aunt Bonney’s or Mrs. McCully’s before she got them. And who would see your parent’s luggage except people on the train that they’ll never see again?”

She tells Dart that she spoke with her father about the possibility that Dart’s parents would not come out for the wedding. He responded that they absolutely would be there. He said he’d drive to Ohio and bring them back, if need be. “He said he wouldn’t hear of them missing their son’s wedding, and neither will I!”

When Dot mentioned the idea of an earlier wedding to her mother, Ruth said that whatever worked for Dot and Dart was fine with her. “Whatever we decide, it’s perfectly agreeable to everyone at this end of the line.”

Dot takes an entire page to assure Dart that she’s not trying to sell him on any ideas. She only wants to say that there are pros and cons to both a December and a June wedding, and she wants to do whatever he decides is the best path. They must make no decisions until they agree that they will never regret whatever decision they make.

She thanks him for asking about Harriet. She’s doing quite well. Her doctor told her weeks ago that she’d never make it to her Nov. 6 due date, and when she went in last week, he said, “Well, what the hell are you waiting for?”

It’s all very hush-hush, but Dot Rucquois is in the same condition. She’d been told she could have no more children unless she had an operation. Just as she was deciding to go ahead with the surgery, she discovered she was pregnant. This will be her first child to  be born in America, and she’s very excited.

“I’m very weary, Darling, but also very much in love. Do you mind if I end this here and lie awake thinking about us? I don’t mean to preach, Dart, but try not to get too discouraged. God knows the needs of all of us and he will provide. Don’t ever feel you’ve been cheated out of something because you’re the kind of person you are. You’ll be paid back with dividends. Oh, I love you so very much.”

Dart writes that today was a lovely day, made even more so by two lovely letters from a lovely little lady. He’ll try to answer at least one of them here.

There’s a movement afoot in Cleveland to unite all the small railroad fan clubs into a single, large organization. Dart doesn’t think it’ll work because some guys think their way of doing things is the only way, and some people want to charge big fees to belong. He’s quite content with the compatible little group he belongs to and thinks he’ll be happy to just stick with them.

How shocking that a girl she knew was expelled from school for smoking. He thinks that’s a high price to pay for a “drag on a nail.” He’s surprised Dot wasn’t expelled for dating a sailor!

He tells her about those kids he met in the park the other day. The 10-year old girl was named Francie and her young assistant was Bobby. There were two older boys – one of them Francie’s older brother – who were trying to get their old model airplane to fly. Francie  was a profane little philosopher, swearing like a sailor but shrugging off all of her brother’s insults. She told Dart that he must be pretty smart. When he asked her why she said that, she replied that dumb people don’t usually smile as much as he did. He was a bit smitten by this little character.

Does Dot think Chuckie Pecsok would be interested in having some photos of Dart’s trains? He has a few extras of some of the interurban cars he’s built. If I know Dart, he had more than a “few.” When I undertook the task of converting about 5,000 old slides of Dad’s to a digital format, I’d guess at least 2,000 of them were “portraits” of trains. The childhoods of my siblings and me were scarcely documented as thoroughly as all the trains he “met” over the years.

He was about to close the letter when he realized he hadn’t answered her question about why she frightened him sometimes. “I guess I’m not really frightened at your antics, but sometimes I can’t figger you out. There was that time, in Connecticut, when you dreamed that you were calling me and I, in Ohio, heard you call and jumped half-awake. There was the other time when you fell asleep on the dock at Sunapee and I tried to wake you up. I thought you were awake and we walked up to the house. Gosh, as I remember it, your laughter was almost hysterical, not at all like your usual laughter. And you kept saying ‘No, don’t! Don’t go!’ Then you woke up and couldn’t recall how you’d gotten up to the house. Gosh, I didn’t know just what to make of that. Maybe I’m reading too much New England Colonial literature.”

Now he’s through, except to tell her that he loves her – oh so very much.

#          #          #

It’s a very short note from Dot. She warns Dart to “look fast,” or he’ll miss it.

Today she cleaned her room and went for a ride with Jane. The trees are bedecked in their fall foliage and look beguiling in their colors.

Greenwich HS beat their biggest rival, Port Chester in football today. They’ve only been scored against once this season, placing them at the top of the  Fairfield County rankings.

“Darling, I love you, but I’m too tired to begin to tell you how much.”

It’s a melancholy fellow who writes tonight, claiming to be uncommonly lonesome for Dot.

He missed her as he walked to church this morning, especially when he saw a couple he knew from Shaw walking across the street, carrying a picnic basket, and enjoying each other’s company.  The man was Tom Hale, who attended Oberlin Conservatory and had planned to teach music in the public schools. Dart expressed great respect for Tom and hoped for a day when he and Dot might meet up with Tom and his girl (wife?). He thinks the four of them would have fun going to concerts together. He wishes they’d been close enough to call out to this morning.

At church he saw his beloved Miss Palmer – his Shaw English teacher. He walked her home to her apartment where they stood outside for quite a while and talked. As they stood there, two of Dart’s good friends from high school passed by – Bob Scott and Bill Seitz. They were also greeted by Miss Quay, Miss Jones and Miss Graves, who were not good friends of his at Shaw.

The other evening Dart read the condensed version of “The Egg and I,” by Betty MacDonald. He recommends it to Dot if she ever has an evening when she needs to be cheered up. Mrs. MacDonald has a great command of the language and a light and breezy humor.

“I’ve been using your blanket on my bed. I wish you were here to help me use it. Of course, it’s for a twin bed, but that wouldn’t matter to us, for a while, at least.”

He says he was going to answer one of her letters, but he’s just too glum. “It just isn’t right without you here. I’m so homesick for you that all I can do is sit with and empty feeling inside; a gnawing feeling in the region of my left ribs; and a downcast mouth and eyes. Not a pretty spectacle. Like you, I am insanely jealous of all couple I see who are happy together.”

He advises her that all those homely little people he’s been drawing in his letters lately are not original to him. He has several more he can copy into other letters.

He’s anxiously awaiting her response to his recent letter about relations with people. He doesn’t know what to expect from her, but for a guy who takes criticism so badly, he says has no right to offer it to anyone else. (I suspect he’ll be impressed and relieved at how well she takes it.)

How he wishes he could bring her back to Ohio with him, IF he gets to Greenwich over Christmas.

#          #          #

Dot, El and 28 other young adults from Second Congregational Church had a wonderful tramp through the woods today. “We drove up to the Audubon Nature Center and took a trail from there. The fallen leaves made a soft carpet for our feet and the ones that hadn’t fallen made a beautiful contrast against the brilliant blue sky. ”

Dot was the youngest person there but she didn’t feel out of place. The group is going to meet twice monthly from now on and she and El are on the supper committee for the next meeting. She knows she’ll have fun, but it would be much more fun if he were there, enjoying the gatherings with her. “We’ve missed out on so many social get-togethers with kids our own age.”

The Chamberlains have taken on a roomer, staying in the room Dart slept in when he was in town. She is a sweet girl who was in El’s class in high school and teaches music in the public schools. She has a beautiful voice and is in the Choral Club with Dot.

If she doesn’t get going on answering some letters, she’ll end up with no friends at all. She sends Dart all her love, for all time.

If the mood of yesterday’s letter from Dart was melancholy, today it is angst. He’s torn to shreds about the question of getting married in December. Yes! That’s what he desperately wants, but only because he is sick and tired of being apart from Dot, and that doesn’t seem like a good enough reason for him.

He reminds Dot that his folks are unaware that he’s shared so much of their family situation with her. He knows his parents “would never forgive me for undermining their pride” by telling her so much. He feels justified in doing so because a) he’s needed to talk it over with someone; b) she will be living under the same roof in either two, or eight, months; she is about to be part of that family he’s been telling her all about.

He mentions more than once “that thing they talked about one night at Sunapee.” He says his mother has told him not to fret about that, but he frets anyway. If I had to guess, I would say that he might have confessed to Dot his fear that he may be sterile, as a result of having the mumps while at Great Lakes Naval Hospital. Because he doesn’t elaborate in this letter, that is only conjecture, based on family lore and his state of mind in this letter.

“Whatever I say here (if I decide to say much) won’t be a final decision. It’ll be ‘thinking with a pen’ again.”

He takes a brief break from his stewing to express a couple of random thoughts: First, he stands corrected for opening his “big yap” about Dot and her mother. Second, he says that things are piling up awfully. He must make this decision and do his work. He may skip the fan trip on Sunday.

If there were an easy way for his parents to get to Greenwich for Christmas, he’d say they should, oh please, hurry up and get married then. But there isn’t any easy way and that makes the decision harder.

“Even if we could, now, plan on being married in December, I couldn’t hold up my end of expenses for a large wedding. (Either that, or we’d hitch-hike home!) That’s part of my conflict.”

Then he lists his conflicting forces: 1) No money 2) Doubt about that issue he mentioned at Sunapee 3) Desire to do whatever Dot wants, in the fulfillment of: 4) Getting married.

In the meantime, he believes Dot has a much more mature and secure view of the situation than he does. She doesn’t seem to be at all flustered or concerned – she simply seems to accept that they will make the right decision.

This is much more than he’d intended to write on the subject, and now he must just think about it. Above all, he doesn’t want his parents to think that they are the reason Dot and Dart aren’t getting married when they want to.

#          #          #

“Why didn’t we get married in September? I know there must have been several very good reasons, but when I get so terribly lonesome for you, none of them seem important enough to keep us apart any longer. …There was never anyone who has ever been missed as much as I miss you.”

She’s listening to a symphony concert now, which may be responsible for her mood. “Such music, to my mind, can get a mood or feeling across as well, or better, than many books about the same feeling or mood.”

She continues, saying that symphonic music can move her to tears because of all things beautiful; love, freedom of expression, and so many things. Hearing it makes her want to thank God for all the blessings she’s received. The tears she cries are tears of joy.

“Thank you for being all you are, Dart. I love you completely. It’s a privilege to  know and love someone as much as I do you. It makes me feel humble and I shall never stop thanking God or you for being so good to me.”

At last, Dart has something to be happy about! In fact, he has two things: there’s no school tomorrow and Dot called him tonight. I suspect she got a little concerned when her mailbox started filling up with despair and worry.

His letter tonight reveals that she was worried when she called and discovered he wasn’t home. I think there was a long delay between her call and the time he called her back. He explains why.

There had been a big bull session after class tonight. Most of the males in Miss Talmage’s class (Note correct spelling of her name) and one female stood around complaining about the “old-maid” perspective of the readings the professor presented in class. Eventually the group migrated up Euclid Ave. all the while discussing their war experiences, where they were on V-E and V-J days, and what war stories they could use as writing projects. When everyone else decided to stop by a bar for beer, Dart hopped a trolley and came home to discover Dot had called.

I think she must have confessed that she’d been concerned over his moods in those letters. “Yes, Dot, I was disgruntled about the way things turned out. I guess I was counting too much on my dreams. That doesn’t work in a world that walks and talks and requires payment for everything.”

Tonight with the gang from class, they got to talking about super-natural things and everyone thought Dart was crazy when he said he was beginning to believe in such things. He told them of her reaction in Connecticut when his ship was hit on the other side of the world. Then he related the story of her calling him in her dream and him waking up when her heard her calling him in his. He was tickled to think about how the group would react if he told them that at the very time they were discussing such things, she was trying to call him!

It seems as though his joy and awe about the phone call underscores what a rare and wonderful occasion a long-distance call was in 1946. You must agree, they have shown amazing restraint in not calling each other very often.

“I wish you were here to take an after-class walk with me and to leave the bunch with me when they go to a bar. Most of the people in the class seem nice, even if they do tipple.” (Dart sounds a teensy bit “old-maidish” himself when he uses words like “tipple.”

He seems to like this class and the lively discussions it fosters. He thinks the women are mostly in their late twenties, except of three who are “quite old – more than 50!” Every one of the men in his class are veterans. So far, he’s getting straight Bs on his assignments.

The weather lately has been exceptionally clear and balmy, with jackets required in the mornings, but become burdensome in the afternoon. The city’s youth have been enjoying it as they parade through neighborhoods on the nights of their football games. Tonight, though, turned cold and rainy, spoiling their Halloween fun. Still, he saw kids putting dummies in the street as it grew dart, and he witnessed a group yanking a trolley off the wire.

Recently, Dart  helped a streetcar motorman adjust the  mirrors on his streetcar. For his help, Dart got a lesson in how to operate the car. While he didn’t actually drive it, he learned a lot about all the workings of this magnificent new machine. He reports that the motormen love driving these smooth, quiet cars as much as the passengers like riding in them. Everyone is eager for the cars to replace the old clunkers that still rattle around on all the other lines in the city.

His next paragraph captured a scene from the days of an old industrial town. He describes how the block of dark brick building across the street from his apartment had just been cleaned. He was shocked to learn that the bricks were a light buff color! I think we’ve mostly forgotten how grim and grimy a city could get before clean energy and air quality controls!

Next time his hair gets long, he’d like to borrow one of Dot’s skirts, shave his legs, and apply for a job with the telephone company. He’s very impressed by her recent pay check of $36 for the week.

He’s in complete empathy with her teary reaction to beautiful music, because he’s often moved in the same way. “Oh Dottie, I’m so glad we like the same things that way. They can make or break tender moments, and I think they’ll tend to make ours. A lot of the emotion I feel when I hear good music is sheer ecstasy inspired by the music but some particularly lovely passages are you and I’m deeply moved by them.”

Writing the word “ecstasy” brought to Dart’s mind images of two moments he and Dot have shared. “One was the walk we took to the Burkes and back, through the dark streets. “That was one of the most thrilling nights I’ve ever had, and I love you so much for it. I’m glad for the things we did that night. It has been the most perfect way for us to express our love and trust for each other ; and the next time we feel that way, I hope and pray that we won’t have to stop.”

“The other moment of ecstasy was another of our walks – this one through the park. There couldn’t have been two happier people than we, as we walked that night. Remember in the golden light of the evening how we walked with our arms locked around each other, and we were so happy that all we could do was kiss, and walk, and say how happy we were?”

“Good night, my Darling. Thank you for being so sweet, and for calling me when you got my letter, and for worrying about me when I wasn’t home. Thank you for all the things you are to me, Dot.”

#          #          #

Dot does not share Dart’s upbeat mood tonight, She has a confession to make to her fiance and she seems uncomfortable about it. She says she’s writing it to make him feel better, not worse, so she asks that he read it if he chooses, and then forget it.

She skipped shorthand tonight because she has a cold and wanted to get to bed early. While she was walking home from work she ran into Sonny Martin, a boy from her old group of pals who called themselves the Alley Cats, way back in junior high or early high school. He said he felt like talking about old times and asked if he could come and sit on the Chamberlain porch for a while. Her mother joined them on the porch and they all chatted  for a short time and her mother left. Dot wishes she hadn’t.

The conversation turned to all the kids they had once known who had married very young. As they talked, Sonny took her hand. At that point, she said, “Yes, and I’m going to join their ranks soon.” As she drew her hand away, Sonny asked who “he” was. She began to tell him about Dart. Then Sonny said, “Aw, it doesn’t hurt to cheat a little, Wait ’til you’re married before you settle down. He’s probably cheating on you anyway.”

She told him he’s not the first person to have told her that, but she’s not buying it. She told him that she knew Dart wasn’t cheating, but if he were, that would be his own business, but it wouldn’t make her want to do it.

Sonny wouldn’t take no for an answer and began to unbutton Dot’s coat. She pushed him away and stood up from the swing. “Apparently, you’re like so many boys. Why can’t we just sit here and talk as friends?” He muttered something about all boys liking to neck, and girls do too. Dot said there are lots of people with different tastes and her tastes didn’t run to necking with just anyone. She declared that she loved Dart, she didn’t like cheaters, and she had no intention of becoming one. She said she was sorry if he didn’t like that, but she’d never been all that popular with boys, so she really didn’t care what he thought.

As he got up to leave, she said she’d be happy to get him a sandwich and some milk if he’d like to visit a little longer. She wasn’t condemning him for behaving like so many folks their age, but she wasn’t going to change her mind.

“He didn’t accept the sandwich, but as he left, he said “You’re alright, Chamberlain. I hope whoever he is appreciates you. Cleveland’s a long way off to trust someone.”

Then she writes to Dart, “I’m sorry it happened, Darling, but it makes me appreciate you even more. I’m beginning to think that after they made you, they not only broke the pattern, but that all who were born before you and had your fine qualities must have all died off. Thanks again and forever for being all that you are. Need I remind you that I love you very much?”

She certainly hopes they can pal around with some of the couples he used to know. What few of his friends she’s met, she’s liked very much. “Won’t it be fun to go on dates once we’re ‘going steady’ forever? I love you Dart, and would marry you in 6 days, 6 months or 6 years. I surely hope the latter won’t be necessary.”

Dart is livid! With himself. He goes on for two pages in a such a self-loathing manner that it’s difficult to read. He cannot believe he was so thoughtless and childish as to bring up the subject of a December wedding. (Actually, I think it was Dot who proposed that they reconsider that option.) Some samples of his wording follow: “It amazes me how d— stupid I can be.”  “I rant about people who upset you and then I proceed to do things more foolish by far.”  “We weren’t happy about our decision (for a later wedding), but then I proceeded to pour oil on the flaming passion and got myself (us?) burned.”  “I should be drawn and quartered for the things I’ve said and done to foul up harmony, here at  home and between you and me.”

That’s the crux of the entire 12-page letter. He must have really upset his parents with his talk about a December wedding, because I’ve seen no evidence that he’s upset Dot with the topic.

It is impossible to pull off a winter wedding. That would take money that he simply doesn’t have. Even if they lodge at the Chamberlain home during the wedding festivities, there’s the matter of train fare for four people going east, and five returning. He still hasn’t found a job, and when he does, he will have limited hours to work, so he won’t earn much. He says he caught “hail Columbia” from his father for even suggesting that there would be no “ship” coming in before a June wedding, either.

There are things discussed tonight that he’d like to talk with Dot about, but he cannot write them. If he’s not careful, he fears he’ll become as negative and disillusioned as Fred.

At last he throws more light on what’s making him so angry. He’s mad that he can’t seem to react to disappointment like an adult. He’s disgusted that he’s unable to make a decision and stick with it. He’s scared by the huge job he’s taking on in becoming a husband; no matter how much he wants it, he doubts his ability to handle it well. “I’m every bit the dreamer that Pop is. All I can do is theorize, and I’m lousy at that.”

For good measure, he adds, “I’ve just formed a mutual contempt society with that jerk who just thumbed his nose at me out of the mirror.”

YIKES! Enough!

He launches into one of his psychology-based musings about the pros and cons of marrying early in life vs late. He posits that since he and Dot are both extremely immature, most folks would argue that they should wait to marry. (I would argue that being naive and inexperienced are not synonymous with being immature.) But, he finds that the most important thing about being fit for marriage is that the couple is determined that their marriage will work, no ifs, buts, or maybes.

He argues both sides for the next few pages, coming to the final conclusion that, although they are immature, the only way to mature into a marriage is to be married. “Marriage will not ‘cure’ us of anything. It seldom changes anyone’s habits of reacting to things, but it is a fulfillment of our greatest urges; to live together, to share our thoughts, and our meals and our shelter; our bed and our bodies, to say nothing of loving-kindness and affection.”

To belabor the point, he discusses the pitfalls of marrying late in life. Both his parents and Homer’s are older. They are tired and would love to retire. But their sons are too young to step up and support them. If they had married younger and had children younger, they would now have children ready to step up and help them. He heartily disapproves of late marriages! (Golly, having married early and having children relatively young, I sure hope Mom and Dad weren’t disappointed when we all failed to support them in their golden years!)

Finally, he moves somewhat off this topic. He comments on Dot’s budget of $210 per month after they are married. As his folks pointed out, it doesn’t matter how rosy the financial picture is after the wedding – what matters is that there’s no way no to get to the wedding.

He wonders if their ceremony will require men to wear suits, tuxedos or tails. All of that needs to be factored into the financial equation.

He talks about the wall of pride that his family has built around themselves. It has had a crippling effect on Dart, Sr. to the point that he won’t go to the door or answer the phone during the day lest anyone find out that he’s home during working hours. It is his pride that makes him so easily hurt by nearly anything Dart says to him.

Both his parents are sure that something will happen to enable them to go to Greenwich in June. All Dart knows is that if he has to quit school, get a job, knock them out and ship them to Greenwich by freight, they will be at that wedding!

So, it is with great regret that he announces his decision that the wedding will take place in June. He assures her that 7 or 8 months isn’t that long – why, he’s been out of the Navy for over 8 months. How he regrets that they are not already married, because he spends as much time “with” her now (by choice) as he would if they were husband and wife.  He also regrets the eternity of Nov., Dec., Jan., Feb., Mar., Apr., May, and part of June until THE day.

He deems 12 pages “enough” and signs off to sleep.

#          #          #

Dot wonders if Dart has found a job yet, and if so, what kind of job it is. She tells him that she’ll be sending him a check tomorrow for the cost of the photo prints he sent, plus the balance of their penny jar.

She likes his idea of creating an enlargement of Sunapee for her father for Christmas, but suggests a different one from the roll of negatives. The one Dart had suggested is very similar to a framed picture he already has.

No, she’s never been to the Cleveland public library, but she’s heard his father talk about it almost reverently.

The last part of his Friday letter sounded very much like the one she wrote him a couple of days later. She’s mighty glad they feel the same way about each other.

Last night she dreamed that he came to visit her – and he arrived in a covered wagon! Regardless of his mode of transport, it was great to see him!

No letters tomorrow, but both writers return on the 31st.