Where shall I begin with this 11-page letter from Dart? I’ll begin with the trivial; his typing teacher has convinced him that he’s not doing so badly and that he should stay with the course. He began by typing the first three pages of this massive missive.
Much of the letter is a stream-of-conscious style as he vents his frustration and confusion over their situation. Perhaps he’s been thinking of all the young couples their age who have taken the leap into marriage having no better finances, living situation or education than Dart and Dot have. There are a number of concerns scrambling around in his brain, and he wishes Dot were closer so they could talk them out with each other, and with their parents.
One of his concerns is how hard Dot was on herself in the last letter. He tells her to snap out of it; the world is not out of step, nor is she. She has expressed a feeling that people don’t respect her choices and seem to think that she’s far too young to be getting married. Perhaps, he suggests, they have forgotten that in the four years she was away at school, she got to be four years older. They still think of her as a 16-year old.
He ponders the idea of getting married this September when he’ll be in Greenwich anyway. Almost immediately, he talks himself out of the idea. The only thing that would accomplish is to allow them to act on their desire to mate, but they still wouldn’t have any money. They still wouldn’t have a place to live. And Dart would be no better prepared to help Dot set up a home. To make matters worse, he thinks Dot’s parents would tell her it was her decision to make, and then spend their energies trying to talk her out of it. His parents would surely be disappointed in this rash decision. He certainly wants the blessing of all their parents when they finally do marry.
“It’s a good thing for us to be dissatisfied with our position. Progress is seldom made when everyone is content with the status quo. Let us not carry that dissatisfaction to the point of blaming it entirely on others. Let us not let it send us into the depths of discouragement.”
“So far I’ve been talking like a crazy man. I’ve started on 20 different lines of thought with full intention to complete each, and then I’ve let me sidetrack myself every time. The first two pages of this are almost worthless. I wanted to work out some line of action, some method whereby we could solve our problem (providing one exists). All I’ve succeeded in doing is to stir up the mud some more.”
He poses the question “Should we be getting married at all?” and then promptly answers it as we would expect he would. Essentially, he says that they both want to get married and they want to marry each other. They should have the opportunity to spend what’s left of their youth enjoying each other’s company while they build a home that can welcome children. They should be young enough to enjoy their children and their grandchildren, if that should happen. “My view is that we should be married, and soon!”
Both of them, he believes, while not able to ignore the advice of others, must be able to develop thicker skin and become comfortable with their own decisions. “The heck with ’em. It’s you and I that we are living to please, not Mrs. Gizmo or Mr. Fluff, or Aunt Sophrony. Develop a thick skin and a deaf ear. (Be cynical, like me!)”
Before he can go any further with this letter, he must confess that her letter disturbed him greatly, for it showed that she is upset. He shared her letter with his mother and they had a long talk about it. His mom had thought all spring that Dot believed his parents were not in favor of this marriage. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Both Helen and Dart Sr. love her like a daughter and find her superior to every other girl in ability and sense. Regardless of her educational level, they believe she’ll always be far ahead of other girls. They admire Dot’s decision not to go back to school because it is a way of resolving her inner conflict about spending all that time and money when her heart wasn’t really in it. “So never, never fear for their approval, Dot. You have it.”
When his mother expressed the wish that she and Dart’s father could help the young couple more, Dart said they only help they wanted was perhaps a place to live. (A refurbished third floor, perhaps?) He insisted that if that were to happen, he and Dot would do their share of maintenance and upkeep, or otherwise, their marriage would be a sham of adulthood.
Then he gets to a very important thought. I’ll enter his expression of it here, nearly verbatim. “Please don’t feel ‘not worthy’ anymore. I feel perfectly worthy of the wonderful bargain I’m getting. I know that maybe my ability to use language may make you feel not up to me. It’s a pity that that same ability can’t be used to alleviate your feeling, instead of strengthening it. It’s not a healthy feeling for engaged couples to have about each other. I don’t want a chattel, Dot. I want a wife. I don’t want to be a slave to that wife, not do I want her to be one to me. I worship you because I think you’re enough my equal to be my wife, my soul-mate, my ever-loving companion. I want you to feel the same way. I feel uncomfortable when you proclaim unworthiness.”
He urges her to talk things over with her parents or Dr. Bliss, or someone she trusts. He believes the two of them are so lucky, and have so little to be worried about in their relationship that they should simply focus on their goal of a June wedding and make the best of it.
At last, he subsides and turns his attention to a few less emotional matters. He’s disappointed with his performance in his classes so far. He has the highest possible B in political science, but he wants to bring it up to an A. He just got a C on his psych test, and is not satisfied with that.
He misses her, and there’s so much more to say, but not tonight. It’s after 2:00 and he must sleep.
# # #
Responding to Dart’s question, “Have you forgotten how to write?” Dot does a little test and finds that she indeed still does, but says she’s not much better at it than she was before.
She’s sorry to hear that he’s decided to drop typing, but understands the necessity of it to keep his grade average high enough. She has been thinking about buying a typewriter, and has been looking at them. She found one advertised in the paper for $30 and thinks she’ll go have a look at it. She hates to think she’ll lose what little skill she acquired in that area for lack of practice or opportunity. In fact, her mother suggested tonight that Dot may want to enroll in some secretarial classes soon because there are always good jobs available for someone with knowledge of typing and shorthand.
Yesterday’s peanut hunt at the playground was a big success. “The kids surely flock to a playground when there’s food to be had. Guess I’m not the only one who likes to eat.”
Today was her first day off because of rain. How did she spend her bonus time? Working, of course! She worked for Mrs. Miller in the morning and then came home and gave the kitchen a good scrubbing.
If Dart will send her Lolly’s address, she’ll mail out a congratulatory card for the new baby. Dot plans to take a day off from the Millers on Saturday to take her niece Gale to the beach. To avoid a guilty conscience for playing on Saturday, she has a lot to do around the house before then, so she’s going to get started now.