The sun shone brightly in Cleveland today, washing the city with a golden light. But the real golden light in Dart’s day was when he returned home to find a luscious letter from Dot awaiting him.

He uses most of his two pages today discussing the pros and cons of dropping his typing class. He is spending a huge amount of time on it and is not improving much. If he dropped it, he’d have more time to devote to his other subjects. He feels like he’s learned the keyboard well enough now to do a fair job of neatly completing his themes and papers in good time. Most importantly, he cannot afford to get a D or and F, even in a one-hour class because he’s on academic probation. He’ll give it more thought and speak with his various professors before making up his mind.

An observation: Dad lived out most of his technical writing and editing career in an era when most men had secretaries to do their typing. As his career was wrapping up, he briefly entered the age of word processors and computers, and he was delighted by the prospect of being able to easily correct his own work without having to re-type whole pages. I recall that when he did type, he could peck out a fairly rapid pace with only two fingers. In short, lack of conventional typing skills didn’t seem to hold him back much.

A brief conversation with Mrs. Dixon today informed Dart that Fred is taking classes at Cleveland College. He doesn’t like his French class. Dart has almost decided to take Spanish as his language.

He mentions that his parents drove all the way to Salem today for some tile, but had no luck. There have been several references to tile in his letters. I recall when my grandparents were downsizing their apartment, we received a number of things created from hand painted tiles: lamps, trivets, and the like. Dad explained to me that Pop had made all of those things. I don’t know if the tile work was an artistic outlet that served as therapy for him, a means of bringing a little income into the family, or both, but I do know that the items we received were beautifully done.

Although Dart loves Dot so much it hurts, he must get some sleep rather than spend more time writing.

#          #          #

Dot writes two letters today – one that she begins after midnight, and the other written the following evening.

She tells Dart that her days seem to start in the late morning and end in the early morning. She started today by changing all the bed sheets in the house, washing the dishes and putting on a load of laundry. She’s enthralled with the new washing machine. Even though it’s supposed to be a great time-saver, she spends the time just watching it go through the cycles. Fascinating! When I read about all she does around that big Chamberlain house, I wonder what the other members of the family contribute to the cleaning and maintenance of the place.

Tonight while doing dishes after work, she was listening to El’s album of “Carousel.” That’s one record she’d like to have in her collection someday when she has nowhere else to put $5.00.

She tells a cute story about a little 7-year old boy in her day camp named Danny Pendergast. She describes him as “cute as a bug’s ear and very conscientious.” He’s on her clean-up team, and today he spent an hour creating a stick with a nail in it so he doesn’t have to bend over to pick up trash. He begs her for extra work so he can earn badges faster. Today he told her earnestly that he wants to always be on her team when they play games. She let him win at checkers this afternoon and his prize was her reading Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig stories to  him. “You’d think I had given him a new bicycle – he was pleased as punch.” Dot has a soft spot for cute little boys, no doubt. In this case, it looks like the affection is mutual.

Mom’s cousin, Dot Pierce Rucquoi and her three children came for dinner tonight but had to leave before Dot got home from work. The family just moved into their new home in New Rochelle and Dot looks forward to seeing more of them than she did when they were living in Brussels, Belgium. This is the cousin who, with her husband Leon was given a tour of Cleveland by Dart a few months back. Dart must have made a great impression on Dot (the cousin) because when she heard he had been accepted at college, she was so happy that she got chills down her spine. She wishes him all the very best. Maybe her affection for him stems from the fact that Dart looks like her brother.

Back to our Dot – she asks Dart if he recalls how hard her cousin tried to convince her to get her education? Well, today when Ruth told her that Dottie was trying to decide if she should go back to college or stay out and get a year’s experience in the work force, Dot R. said if it were her, she’d take the experience over the education! She must really want these two kids to get married!

Having opened the topic of quitting school in exchange for working, Dot begs Dart to voice an opinion. What would his parents think if she didn’t complete college? If she does return to Kent, or some place else, they certainly couldn’t get married next June. How could she be in college until June and then prepare for a wedding in a few days? And she so desperately wants to marry him.

She begins her second letter of the day by asking Dart if he will marry her in June 1947 without making a fuss, or will she have to force him into it? And, by the way, she says nobody calls her future husband cheap, especially him. “No doubt, things look pretty bleak to you and your family right now, but God is still the supreme power, and with God and love working hand-in-hand, how can we lose?”

It seems she has received his rather gloomy letters of a few days ago – one in which he was brooding about their grim financial picture, and the other where he was ranting against the government.

Her father just called her from his shop to tell Dart to keep a stiff upper lip. He has heard that the first 100 years are the hardest, but in his experience, the first 50 or so have not been too bad.

She writes that the other night when she was finding it so hard to decide about school, her wise mother told her something would happen to help her decide. It did, and she has. She isn’t going back to school in the fall. “I’m not nearly as set on having an education as I am on becoming your wife.”

As of today, she’ll be working seven days a week. To her way of thinking, her regular job keeps her outside in the fresh air and sunshine all week, so she doesn’t need weekends for that. Mrs. Miller wants her as many Saturdays and Sundays as she’s willing to work, so Dot’s going to oblige. “A great deal of my work there is a pleasure anyway, ‘cuz I love the kids and they are usually very good.” She vows that she won’t be overworked.

She begs Dart to “buck up and quit worrying.” She makes the suggestion that he turn all the worries over to her, she’ll ignore them, and then both of them will be free from worry. That actually may have set the pattern for their entire life together.

“There will probably be times when you want to ramp [sic] and rage about the state of the nation, but please do me a favor. When you feel such a spell coming on, go upstairs and write to me to get it off your chest. That way, you’ll feel better and your parents won’t feel any worse.” Such a wise and compassionate young woman!

She continues that she and Dart will certainly come across lots of hard times in their life, but they may as well start showing themselves and others that they can take them in stride.

“It’s important that you forget to worry and remember that I love you very much and am increasingly proud and happy that I will one day be your wife.”

Dart has spent his evening in the basement working on his little engine. Now it “runs like a 17-jewel Bulova, only a little faster.”

The other day he bought 100 three-cent stamps and today he used one to pay a hospital insurance bill. Unfortunately he didn’t realize until after he’d mailed it that the bill was his father’s.

No political science test today after all.  Dr. Heckman is holding out.

He certainly hopes little Danny Pendergast doesn’t get teased by the other kids at Dot’s playground for being the teacher’s pet. It is clear to Dart that Dot has a soft spot for cute little boys.

Now that she’s decided not to go back to college, he’ll reveal what his mother said on the subject, if it won’t make Dot change her mind. His mother said it would be a shame if Dart got so far ahead of Dot educationally that they no longer had anything in common. Frankly, he doesn’t know what to say. He’d like to see her get another year of college. He also wants to get married according to plan. “If your returning to Kent, or to any college, would delay or make difficult our plans and hopes, then I’d say don’t go. …I can’t see trying to satisfy everyone. How ’bout letting some of the suggestions and the urgings go right by, without even taking a trip through the ears? You never can satisfy everyone, nor should you try.”

Having just finished that pretty speech about not trying to please everyone, he writes, “We’ll have to work awfully hard to make a show of success of our marriage. Otherwise, there’ll be some ‘I-told-you-so’s’.”

He asks, rather oddly, I think, if Dot is “changeable enough to read books” after they’re married. It might be helpful if she did so she can help him formulate some new ideas. He knows they’ll want “a bit of a social life, and he acknowledges he’ll have to do make some changes there. He avers that she’s domestic enough to make a nice, neat job of keeping house and, in fact, he looks forward to coming home to her in their tidy little nest – wherever that may be. It may be my 21st century feminist ear, but this all sounds just a wee bit paternalistic to me.

For good measure, he tells her that if she can use the year to make and save lots of money, he won’t be the least bit apprehensive about her plans. But while he’s on the subject of money, he cautions her not to let the Millers take advantage of her. The service she provides them is valuable, and she should be paid accordingly.

After last night’s picnic at Uncle Guy’s house, Guy and Jean received a call from their daughter Lolly in Ann Arbor; she had gone into labor. Although her parents left Cleveland immediately to drive to the hospital, the baby boy was born before they got there. That’s all the news Dart has for now on the subject of Uncle Guy’s newest grandson.

And that’s all Dart’s news on any topic. He’s going to bed.

#          #          #

Dot’s letter is so choke full of reports of her various activities that it leaves me winded! She apologizes for neglecting Dart, but her work day was extended due to a meeting of playground supervisors.

On Wednesday, she got up extra early so she could complete her morning chores in time to take the first boat to Island Beach. She managed to get in three hours of glorious sunshine before heading back to report for work.  Wednesday night brought a visit from Betty and Gordon and a belated celebration of his birthday. Also, her cousin Dot and family came into town again and had supper at Harriet’s. Included in the festivities at Harriet and George’s house were Dot’s cousin Waddy (Dart’s “twin”) and his wife and daughter. It was great to see Dart’s double again. She hopes that she and Dart will be able to go through Hindsdale on their way to Sunapee so Dart can meet another 10 or 20 of her relatives.

Yesterday, she took care of Chris, Eric, and Cameron Miller. “They’re a mighty active gang, and I had to do some tall stepping to keep up with them. Tomorrow we’re all going out on the boat for a few hours. It’s going to be some job to keep those kids from going in the water.”

Sunday, she’s accepted a different kind of job. She’s going to stay with an 86-year old woman with heart problems who can’t be left alone. In fact, she may end up working there full time the first week of September when her playground job is over for the summer and the lady’s housekeeper is on vacation. Phew!

As it is now Saturday morning, Mr. Miller will be picking her up shortly for her regular weekend gig. “Wish I could get on the ball in letter-writing, but my days are all filled and fouled up. I love you heaps.”

Dart writes today’s letter on a stubby little half sheet, telling Dot it’s going to be a “short one” tonight.

The weather today was oppressive, but Dart is enjoying a tiny little breeze that feels like the countryside has heaved a sigh of relief. It reminds him of hills and fields and evening, and Dot. How he wishes she could be here now, to enjoy the breeze and to ease his longing.

He spent some time today reading and sorting through some of her letters. He says he has only about 60,000 left to go. There was one he read today, written the day they went to the art museum and then to Uncle Guy’s lake house. “That was a wonderful day, Dot. There have been others equal to it since then, but I remember that day well.”

His cousin had a rough time delivering her baby and looked so bad afterward that her sister Marg fainted when she saw her. Both mother and baby are doing okay now, though.

He went to church this morning, and although he likes Mr. Kershner, he wasn’t too fond of this particular sermon.

“Good night, my darling. I wish you were here. I love you and miss you very much.”

#          #          #

Dot begins by telling Dart he must face the fact that there are not enough hours in the day to do all she must and still write to him. She promises to write as often as she can, but when the letters don’t come, he’ll simply have to understand.

She was with the Miller family from 9:30 AM until after midnight. The afternoon hours were spent out on the boat for a great sail – not too choppy, but with a great wind. When she went swimming off the boat, two-year old Eric jumped right in after her, wearing his life preserver, of course. She says neither of the boys has the slightest fear of water, nor the slightest interest in napping when they’re on the boat. They want to watch all the other boats and help Daddy sail theirs. “Think we’ll ever have a couple of little boys as cute as these? No, of course not! Ours will be much cuter!”

She’s happy to hear that he and Tom had an enjoyable evening at the concert. Did Tom happen to give an opinion of the town of Greenwich, or mention the girl he met at Island Beach?

She hopes to hear Mr. Kershner preach if she can find out when and where he’ll be. Her mother has granted her the car some Sunday to drive to wherever he is and meet him. She asks if Dart thinks the good preacher will be flattered that someone drove from out of town to hear him.

With her decision not to return to Kent, she’ll have to pass on Dart’s invitation to take communion with him in October. They had it at church this week, and she wished Dart had been there to share it with her.

Nine weeks from today is when they should be leaving for Sunapee. She hopes he’ll be able to stay at least two weeks because that’s the last time she’ll see him until the following June for their wedding. Does it seem real to him that they’ll only see each other once more before they are husband and wife? She says it almost makes the wedding seem closer when she thinks of it in those terms.

It’s time for her to fix dinner for her elderly charge, so she needs to stop writing for now. She fills the page with X’s and O’s, saying they’ll have to do until the real thing comes along again.

Dart begins by asking Dot if she remembers him telling her about writing to a buddy named Jack Carty, and then afterward feeling like he shouldn’t have done it lest he’d been killed during the war. Well, he’s happy to let her know that he got a letter from Jack Carty who is alive and thriving. The letter is full of coincidences and happy news. First, Jack was aboard one of the destroyers that escorted the “haggard Haggard” to a safe dry dock after she was hit by the kamikaze on April 29. He was in all the same actions that Dart was in and left the Philippines for home the day after Dart did. On his 21-day leave, he married the girl he’d been engaged to for a few years. He was discharged from the Navy the day the John R Craig left for Panama. The best part is that in May of this year, his wife presented him with a baby boy. Jack is working for the telephone company and is elated with the way his life is going. Dart writes, “If anyone objects, let’s tell ’em that Jack and his wife are our ages!”

He’s awaiting grades on his poli sci and the psych tests with fear and trembling. He drew a blank on a 10 point question on the poli sci test and the psych test was a doozy – four pages of T/F questions. His typing is not improving. So far, he hasn’t had a single passing grade in that class, so he’ll decide whether or not to drop it after the test on Wednesday.

“Tonight sure has it’s quota of noisy drunks outside. Another of my beefs against the world. (Too many people don’t act the way I want ’em to!)”

He’s eager to hear how her job as a companion worked out on Sunday. It’s surely not a job he’d ever want.

Does Dot recall the trolley wire he had on his work bench when she was there last. (I’m sure she lies awake at night thinking about it.) “I now have about 11 feet of it strung over the track, and all of it works nicely. Makes the big yellow car look more realistic, as it swings around the sharp curve, pounces across the switch with a big racket, and pulls its little trolley along the wire behind itself. I hope to have a workable loop of both the interurban and the narrow gauge ready for operation when the model club has its August meeting.” He goes on for another paragraph about wiring the switchboard for his tracks. Just the kind of sweet nothings Dot pines for, no doubt.

He hopes they get to drive through Hinsdale on the way to Sunapee. “Golly, I want that trip so much that it seems almost as fabulous and unbelievable as our approaching wedding. That wedding can’t come too soon, either. I suffer when you’re away, Dot. I want companionship and your friendliness, and all the memories we share. I want those memories to become real again, every one of them.”

#          #          #

Dot begins, “Your hot letter arrived this morning. In spite of the fact that it took three days to get here it was still plenty warm. That kind of letter comes just often enough to satisfy me and seldom enough so that I always look forward to the next one. Thanks, Darling, for wanting me as much as I want you.”

How she wishes she could have been at that July 4th party! Those kids are so adorable and she would have liked to see Marg again. Of course, there’s one other party she would have been most happy to spend the day with…

This morning she deposited $20 inter her savings account. It’s been looking anemic lately, but she’s trying to nourish it.  The most she’s ever had in there is $130 but her goal now is $200 by the end of August.

This morning also brought a letter from Mrs. Donald M. Johnson. The name meant nothing to her, but the handwriting did; it was her old Kent housemate Ellie Durr! She and Don are living in a three-room apartment in Windham, Ohio and they both plan to continue school in the fall. ” I ask myself ‘What’s wrong with us?’ Here we are, worried sick about how we’re going to manage when we’re really a year ahead of most married couples ‘cuz we’re waiting ’til we build some capital. ”

Now she’s starting to think she should have stayed in Ohio and found a job there. With the current plan of getting a job in Greenwich this fall, she’ll just be getting a good start on it and it’ll be time to move back to Ohio after the wedding. If she’d started a job in Cleveland this summer, she’d be a veteran there by next June, perhaps due for a raise.

If all goes well in September, she may be able to fulfill Dart’s fantasy of waking him up while they’re both still wearing pajamas and her hair is uncombed. Although Gordon and Betty will be returning to the Chamberlain house next week, they hope to have their own apartment by September, meaning Dart will be sleeping on the third floor, across the hall from Dot. “But if they can’t get the apartment, you’ll have to sleep on the second floor in the little room above the stairs. It might not be as easy for me to wake you up the way I’m planning to if you’re downstairs. In any case, you’re coming in September!!! And we’ve got to leave what’s left of the cake alone! Remember, we promised.”

The first page of Dart’s letter is a full sheet of typing paper containing 17 neatly typed words and his signature. It says “Dot, Darling, You didn’t forget how to write, did you? I love you very much. Your own Dart.”

He tells her in the second letter he’s enclosed that he’d intended to send just that page, but thought better of it.  The next letter begins with the news that he’s just decided to drop typing. He won’t be doing any more practice sessions, but he plans to do much of his personal correspondence using the “typing machine.”

Naturally, he is plagued by doubts about his decision, but he feels as though the time he spends on this one-hour course is putting his grades in the two academic subjects in jeopardy.

Now he’s feeling out of sorts and he feels like sleeping. He hopes he can recall at a later date what he’d intended to write in this one. He also hopes he’ll have a letter from Dot soon. Hold on, Dart, you should be getting some good ones soon, because your lovely lady has been writin’ ’em.

#          #          #

Dot has one subject on her mind tonight, and she needs to get it off her chest.  She has made her decision about college, she will not change her mind, and she’s tired of trying to make everyone happy. In fact, she feels she can’t seem to make anyone happy! “From now on, I’m going to do what I think is right, and if my judgment is poor, I am prepared to suffer the consequences.”

In answer to his mother’s comment, she must be of the belief that one can only get an education by going to college. What about her very own husband? He didn’t go to college, yet he’s one of the most intelligent men Dot has ever met. He reads countless books and magazines and can make interesting, intelligent conversation on a host of topics.

“I have never felt worthy of you, Dart, but I am interested in the same things you’re interested in and I’m eager to learn all I can about them. …The thing foremost in my mind is becoming your wife. You see, I happen to love you very much and every day we’re separated makes my longing for you so much more than the day before. …I become more dissatisfied with the situation every day. ”

She tells him that working every day not only gives her some much-needed money, but it helps to keep her mind off the subject that has her so upset tonight. “I am so sick of arguing with people about my age. ‘But, Dottie, you’re so young!’ Alright! I’m young. So what? …I’m young and very much in love and could be mighty happy if people would keep their opinions to themselves.”

She remarks that if it weren’t for El, she thinks she might give up trying to make plans for a future. “She has gone through hell and knows what it is not to be married to the person you love.”

She says no matter where she goes or what she does, she feels like a misfit, and has for three years. She can’t believe that everyone is out of step but her, so she must be the problem. “Oh my Darling, I need you so much. I keep remembering how sweet and understanding you were four weeks ago tonight. How come you’re such a wonderful guy? You’ve got to come here in September, Dart. I couldn’t stand it if you didn’t.”

Perhaps it was the blue funk that both Dot and Dart are in tonight that keeps either of them from writing tomorrow, but they’re both back in touch on the 11th. I’ll see you then.

Where shall I begin with this 11-page letter from Dart? I’ll begin with the trivial; his typing teacher has convinced him that he’s not doing so badly and that he should stay with the course. He began by typing the first three pages of this massive missive.

Much of the letter is a stream-of-conscious style as he vents his frustration and confusion over their situation. Perhaps he’s been thinking of all the young couples their age who have taken the leap into marriage having no better finances, living situation or education than Dart and Dot have. There are a number of concerns scrambling around in his brain, and he wishes Dot were closer so they could talk them out with each other, and with their parents.

One of his concerns is how hard Dot was on herself in the last letter. He tells her to snap out of it; the world is not out of step, nor is she. She has expressed a feeling that people don’t respect her choices and seem to think that she’s far too young to be getting married. Perhaps, he suggests, they have forgotten that in the four years she was away at school, she got to be four years older. They still think of her as a 16-year old.

He ponders the idea of getting married this September when he’ll be in Greenwich anyway. Almost immediately, he talks himself out of the idea. The only thing that would accomplish is to allow them to act on their desire to mate, but they still wouldn’t have any money. They still wouldn’t have a place to live. And Dart would be no better prepared to help Dot set up a home. To make matters worse, he thinks Dot’s parents would tell her it was her decision to make, and then spend their energies trying to talk her out of it. His parents would surely be disappointed in this rash decision. He certainly wants the blessing of all their parents when they finally do marry.

“It’s a good thing for us to be dissatisfied with our position. Progress is seldom made when everyone is content with the status quo. Let us not carry that dissatisfaction to the point of blaming it entirely on others. Let us not let it send us into the depths of discouragement.”

“So far I’ve been talking like a crazy man. I’ve started on 20 different lines of thought with full intention to complete each, and then I’ve let me sidetrack myself every time. The first two pages of this are almost worthless. I wanted to work out some line of action, some method whereby we could solve our problem (providing one exists). All I’ve succeeded in doing is to stir up the mud some more.”

He poses the question “Should we be getting married at all?” and then promptly answers it as we would expect he would. Essentially, he says that they both want to get married and they want to marry each other. They should have the opportunity to spend what’s left of their youth enjoying each other’s company while they build a home that can welcome children. They should be young enough to enjoy their children and their grandchildren, if that should happen. “My view is that we should be married, and soon!”

Both of them, he believes, while not able to ignore the advice of others, must be able to develop thicker skin and become comfortable with their own decisions. “The heck with ’em. It’s you and I that we are living to please, not Mrs. Gizmo or Mr. Fluff, or Aunt Sophrony. Develop a thick skin and a deaf ear. (Be cynical, like me!)”

Before he can go any further with this letter, he must confess that her letter disturbed him greatly, for it showed that she is upset. He shared her letter with his mother and they had a long talk about it.  His mom had thought all spring that Dot believed his parents were not in favor of this marriage. That couldn’t be further from the truth.  Both Helen and Dart Sr. love her like a daughter and find her superior to every other girl in ability and sense. Regardless of her educational level, they believe she’ll always be far ahead of other girls. They admire Dot’s decision not to go back to school because it is a way of resolving her inner conflict about spending all that time and money when her heart wasn’t really in it. “So never, never fear for their approval, Dot. You have it.”

When his mother expressed the wish that she and Dart’s father could help the young couple more, Dart said they only help they wanted was perhaps a place to live. (A refurbished third floor, perhaps?)  He insisted that if that were to happen, he and Dot would do their share of maintenance and upkeep, or otherwise, their marriage would be a sham of adulthood.

Then he gets to a very important thought. I’ll enter his expression of it here, nearly verbatim. “Please don’t feel ‘not worthy’ anymore. I feel perfectly worthy of the wonderful bargain I’m getting. I know that maybe my ability to use language may make you feel not up to me. It’s a pity that that same ability can’t be used to alleviate your feeling, instead of strengthening it. It’s not a healthy feeling for engaged couples to have about each other. I don’t want a chattel, Dot. I want a wife. I don’t want to be a slave to that wife, not do I want her to be one to me. I worship you because I think you’re enough my equal to be my wife, my soul-mate, my ever-loving companion. I want you to feel the same way. I feel uncomfortable when you proclaim unworthiness.”

He urges her to talk things over with her parents or Dr. Bliss, or someone she trusts. He believes the two of them are so lucky, and have so little to be worried about in their relationship that they should simply focus on their goal of a June wedding and make the best of it.

At last, he subsides and turns his attention to a few less emotional matters. He’s disappointed with his performance in his classes so far. He has the highest possible B in political science, but he wants to bring it up to an A. He just got a C on his psych test, and is not satisfied with that.

He misses her, and there’s so much more to say, but not tonight. It’s after 2:00 and he must sleep.

#          #          #

Responding to Dart’s question, “Have you forgotten how to write?” Dot does a little test and finds that she indeed still does, but says she’s  not much better at it than she was before.

She’s sorry to hear that he’s decided to drop typing, but understands the necessity of it to keep his grade average high enough. She has been thinking about buying a typewriter, and has been looking at them. She found one advertised in the paper for $30 and thinks she’ll go have a look at it. She hates to think she’ll lose what little skill she acquired in that area for lack of practice or opportunity. In fact, her mother suggested tonight that Dot may want to enroll in some secretarial classes soon because there are always good jobs available for someone with knowledge of typing and shorthand.

Yesterday’s peanut hunt at the playground was a big success. “The kids surely flock to a playground when there’s food to be had. Guess I’m not the only one who likes to eat.”

Today was her first day off because of rain. How did she spend her bonus time? Working, of course! She worked for Mrs. Miller in the morning and then came home and gave the kitchen a good scrubbing.

If Dart will send her Lolly’s address, she’ll mail out a congratulatory card for the new baby. Dot plans to take a day off from the Millers on Saturday to take her niece Gale to the beach. To avoid a guilty conscience for playing on Saturday, she has a lot to do around the house before then, so she’s going to get started now.