Category Archives: 44. May 1947
Sunday, May 11, 1947
Under the date on Dart’s letter, he writes, as usual, the number of days until the wedding (40), but then he adds “less than 960 hours.” He’s not too eager, is he?
He mentions a book that has claimed much of his time in the last few days. It’s called “The Triumph of the Egg,” by Sherwood Anderson. He says it’s a beautiful treatment of the frustration felt by people living in small towns.
Today was lovely, followed by an equally beautiful night. His window is open and all of the typical 3:00 AM sounds are making him even lonelier for her than he already was.
He is compelled to write one of his long, lonely, intimate letters tonight. He’ll start with the part of her recent letter about her “visitor” being due around the time of their wedding and honeymoon. He wants to assure her, that aside from the fact that she’ll be uncomfortable, it won’t bother him that much if they were “unable” on their first few nights of marriage. As long as they are married and can sleep in the same bed, several nights of forced abstinence seems like it may bind them together even more closely. He’ll have waited a long time, and is willing to wait until it will be right for her.
For a long time I’ve dreamed of sleeping with you … of having you close to me, and being close to you; so close that we can breathe upon each other; so close that every motion one of makes can be felt by the other; so close that even our heart beats caress each other. I’ll be satisfied those first nights if all we can do is lie under the same blanket. I want to be able to pull your head to my chest and bury my face in your hair. I want to grasp the firmness of your body into my arms until we both quiver from the sheer joy of being together.
Further more, he hopes they will always be able to enjoy each other – not just with physical intimacy, but also with mental and spiritual closeness. “I want a complete, never-failing understanding. I want my love for you to be as unselfish in its devotion as yours for me. I want complete physical intercourse after our many times of mental and spiritual intercourse.”
He also hopes he can be a gentleman enough not to ask to see her with the lights on. He admits he dearly wants to, but her wants her to feel as comfortable as possible on their first nights together. I am deeply touched by that statement. It is so sweet and dear and melancholy that with all the time together, and the depth of their love for each other, that they have not shared this intimacy. It’s more precious still that he is ultimately more concerned about her comfort than he is with satisfying his own desires. What a remarkable young couple.
He’s eager to hear what she learns from Dr. Shaw. He suspects the doctor will tell her about a particular “female device” that Homer told him about. He suspects Dot will not be interested in using something like that. Does she think they should see the doctor together? He feels they’d be better prepared if they did.
“This is all for tonight, my Darling. I know it’s been a hard letter for you to read, but I hope you don’t mind too much. When my lonesomeness piles up inside me this way, there doesn’t seem to be anything else to do and you’re the only one I can write/talk to about it. After this, do I need to say I love you? Well, I do.
# # #
Dot warns that this letter won’t be worth the paper it’s written on (she was wrong about that), but she had to write to tell him that she loves him more tonight than she’s ever loved him in her whole life. She thought he deserved to know.
The problem is she loves him too much to be of any good to anybody. All she wants is to be alone with him, in spirit, anyway. Last night she came upstairs to be alone and to think about him. She daydreamed about all their long drives together, like the trips back to Kent and that drive out to his Uncle Guy’s lake property. (Sound familiar?) “My body tingles when I remember those times, or better yet, think about us and our future.”
He knows her well enough to know that she can get very emotional. She doesn’t want to cry, but she’s feeling as bad as he did that night when he prayed in his living room. She wishes she’d not been so selfish when she encouraged him not to teach that Sunday school class. He’d make a great teacher, just has he has taught her so much about faith, with his actions and his words. She hopes they’ll never take such things for granted.
Monday, May 12, 1947
Dart types that he sometimes wonders why he even bothers to go to school. He scored a 45% on his latest Spanish test, even after studying hard for it. He has to take another year of Spanish and he’s not entirely sure he’ll pass this year. Naturally, he’s very discouraged.
Pop has put in two nights at work, but he’s hardly had any sleep since he learned that he was going to start working again. “He gets to bed and immediately starts worrying about getting to sleep. That makes him so tense that there’s just to chance at all for him to sleep until he shuts down from sheer nerves and physical exhaustion. In his condition he won’t last a week if this keeps up.”
He says this seems to be shaping up into the kind of letter he wasn’t going to write any more.
There were lots of stories coming over the wires last night at work about the Connecticut black out. There was even one about a nurse at Greenwich Hospital who kept a patient alive with an improvised substitute when his iron lung stopped, and he wonders if that was Dot’s friend Nancy.
He’s heard about that wedding-crashing racket. Don’t the ushers have some responsibility to keep the gate-crashers out? Maybe he should bring his husky pal Homer to act as a bouncer to scare people who don’t belong there off. Doesn’t the Chamberlain family, so well-connected in that small town, know anyone on the police force that could keep their wedding clear of dirty tricksters? Dart seem inordinately concerned of mischief makers at their nuptials!
That’s all for tonight. He’s off to night classes and then it’s back to homework.
# # #
It pains me to say that today’s letter is the last entry we have for Dot, except for an undated telegram she sent to Dart on the eve of his final exams. I’ll post that later in the month. Meanwhile, let’s see what she’s been up to and try not to feel too cheated that the remainder of her pre-marital letters have vanished.
Dot and El were caught by surprise again with another bridal shower. This one was hosted by her cousins at a big place called Tod Mansion. That’s an old Greenwich estate that had been broken up into small apartments with common living areas to help ease the post-war housing crunch in Greenwich. Her cousin Janie’s older sisters who had each married a Ficker brother, lived in the Mansion. I’ll let Dot describe the situation herself.
Well, they did it again. Yep, El and I walked into a surprise shower at the Tod’s Mansion. El was in her dungarees which were covered in paint, and I was in an old cotton dress I’d been wearing all day at the Miller’s.
Supposedly, they wanted me to stay at the mansion with baby Janie and young Smokey Ficker. El picked me up at the Millers and drove me over to Tod’s because she’d never seen baby Janie. When we walked into the Fickers’ community living room, we heard 14 voices yell a chorus of ‘SURPRISE!’ El turned around and beat it out the door and I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. Betty ran to get El, and I sank to my knees, which by then had turned to water.
The gifts were carefully planned. El was given a personal shower and I received a miscellaneous shower. We got some lovely things, honey. It’s late now so I won’t go into details, but will merely name some of the things we received. Gay colored dish towels and cloths; pot-holders ; three large bath towels, face cloths, and hand towels; a dainty bureau scarf; an aluminum pitcher; luncheon set; lily of the valley toilet water; a set of coasters and place mats; plus a butter spreader for our ‘Candlelight’ set from Aunt Ethel who is giving us a whole place setting for our wedding present!
The rest will have to wait, Darling. I’m very tired and must get some shut-eye. It’s a lot of work to chase the three Miller kids, but they’re sweet, and so are you. I love you, Dart.
Tuesday, May 13, 1947
Dart is working on a book report for psychology. He tells Dot that the subject of his chosen book is predicting the success or failure of a marriage. Based of the studies reported in this book, Dart has created an elaborate table for himself and Dot, and scored it according to the values in the book. This chart must have taken him hours to produce, but he’s happy to announce that they have a very good chance of having a happy and long-lasting married life. I’m sure Dot will be relieved to know that.
When Dot’s Sunday night letter came, reminiscing about the exact same moments of their relationship that Dart was writing about at the exact same time, he had to pick a fight with his psychology professor. “He says the extra-sensory perception (mental telepathy) just ain’t possible, but admits a few cases where it came out so perfectly in experiments that he couldn’t argue against it. Sunday night must surely have been one of those times.”
He’s been having almost uncontrollable daydreams about her for several days. He’s almost ashamed of some of the thoughts he’s had of her, but he suspects she wants the same things he does. As time goes by and he knows the sultry letters he’s written are on their way to Dot, he feels a little sheepish about some of them. But then he understands that the reason he writes such things is that they can’t do such things, and writing about them is the only way to cope with his longing.
“Oh, Darling. I want to marry you now, tonight, tomorrow, or as soon as humanly possible, so that we’ll never again have to resist our desires to express our deep love for each other.”
He expresses the tightness in his chest when he thinks of her and wonders if she ever feels the same way.
“Goodnight, my dear. Thinking about you as ‘wife’ and me as’ husband’ has done something to me. I want you. I’m lonesome. I love you.”
No letters tomorrow, but I’ll return on the 15th.
Thursday, May 15, 1947
Dart fell asleep at his desk, resting his weary head on his pile of schoolwork. When he awoke, he roused himself enough to get a short letter out to Dot. He can’t neglect her two nights in a row!
He’s very impressed with the care shown to Dot in the form of bridal showers, which seem to him like mighty handy things to have. He’s curious about the luncheon set she mentioned; is it dishes or table cloth and napkins?
His folks have decided they want to give the kids some electrical appliance as a wedding gift. What a practical idea for the young couple who will have no stove or oven! The list they are considering is: roaster, toaster, mixer, coffee maker (percolator or glass drip?), steam iron, broiler, and waffle iron. When he told them that the latter wasn’t too important in his mind, they suggested that he give Dot the list so that she could hint accordingly.
He makes a short list of things they must remember to do as soon as she arrives in Cleveland (as his Mrs.) First, she must change her name for social security and second, he must update his insurance policy and name her as beneficiary.
Should he write to Hotel Green before he leaves Cleveland or after he arrives in Greenwich to reserve a room for the wedding night? He’ll need hints from her about a birthday gift, too. Also he wonders about his bachelor dinner. Should he have it at home or wait until Greenwich?
It’s a beautiful “springy” night and he wants to go for a walk with her. Instead, he wishes her good night and returns to his schoolwork.
Friday, May 16, 1947
Dart tells Dot about his “big thrill” today – that of getting his blood drawn for the marriage blood tests! The hospital staff also took his Connecticut marriage license forms and will send him the completed copies when the blood results come back. It feels real now! Total cost: two bucks.
He and Dr. Singer also had a conversation about contraceptives. What he writes next is so quaint and indicative of the times that I want to quote the letter exactly.
There are rubber devices called condoms available at drug stores in Ohio. I’ll have to buy a honeymoon’s supply of them here before I go there, because they are illegal in Connecticut. The things are thin – almost like a balloon before it’s blown up. Like other contraceptive devices, they are not infallible, as they occasionally break. I don’t think they can be used more than once each, and I don’t know how much they cost. They are said to be the most effective method, however. If you see Dr. Shaw, she’ll probably tell you of other things that can be used; some one or two of them in conjunction with condoms for greater surety.
Dot’s letter with three dollars enclosed arrived today. Like her, he also has a jar full of coins that he hasn’t had time to deposit. He’ll add her $3.00 to the jar and get it all deposited when he has the time.
In response to her disparaging letter about the McDonald’s dirty dishes piled in the sink, he writes, “Golly, what a letdown you’re going to get around here, if you disapprove of McDonald’s dirty dishes. Ours stand in the sink for ages before they get washed.” I must say that in all the years I spent in Dot and Dart’s home growing up, I have no memories of dishes piling up in the sink – even during the decades when there was no automatic dishwasher at home. Of course, Mom was firmly set on making the kids do kitchen clean-up every night to “learn how to do it right, and build character.”
While he was at Higbee’s to try to get his trousers from the tailor, he spoke with her old Andrews classmate, Jimmy, and got the lowdown on several other classmates. Janice Babington and Alice White are “expecting,” Eleanor Holbrook has had what will probably be a promotion. She’s in children’s shoes now, and everyone thinks she’s being broken in as assistant buyer.
Tonight’s railroad club meeting was on Cleveland’s west side tonight. He took his little engine along to the Skyline meeting and then he and John Downing went to the club meeting together. It was John’s first night at the club and his first time ever seeing an HO scale layout. I’m happy to report that John’s heart withstood all that excitement.
He tells Dot that if she wants to apply for the marriage license before he gets to Greenwich, she certainly may, but this sentimental guy rather hopes they can do it together.
Burke will not be coming out early. He’ll need to stay in Cleveland for a few days to search for a summer job.
He’s wondering about the bride’s gift proposition. He suspects that folks will be watching to see what he gets her, so he feels it needs to be more than a wedding ring. “However, whatever we spend on each other for wedding gifts will be that much less we’ll have to begin our housekeeping with. And believe me, Dot, we’ll need every cent.” He seems to forget that they’ll be getting a lot of gifts to help set them up in “housekeeping.”
He bids her good night, with lots of love.
Saturday, May 17, 1947
Dart writes that even though he loves Dot, he must get some sleep. Then he comments that it won’t be long until “we can pay the right amount of attention to each other and get our sleep; almost at the same time!”
He wonders why he turned the page over to the blank side, except to tell her again how much he loves her. He keeps thinking about last Sunday’s letter and how much he’d like to write another one like that, but he just can’t let himself do it. Here he is, getting all riled up and he didn’t mean to.
He says he misses her and all the things they’ve said and done. “And, if it’s possible to ‘miss’ something we haven’t done, I miss that, too. I want you so much I’m uncomfortable and dreadfully lonely.”
He’s so tired he’s decided to hang a “do-no-disturb” sign on his door and sleep through church.
Sunday, May 18, 1947
It’s definitely “crunch time” for Dart. To prevent the temptation of writing more than he has time for, he’s composing this letter early in the day. If he waits until tonight, he fears he’d go on too long and neglect his school work.
He’s feeling well rested today after sleeping 10 hours and then taking a long bath. He hates to miss church, but sleep is necessary.
All the bounty from her second shower has left them with a wonderful problem; how will they get all that stuff back to Ohio? He sounds nearly overwhelmed by the generosity of her friends and relatives.
He’s decided to leave the rest of the page blank so that maybe he can add a kiss later tonight.
The bottom of the page: “Wake up, Darling. I want a little response when I kiss you tonight. This was a lovely evening for a drive and I took one. It took me through the ‘Let’s go!’ park. Gee, I missed you, and I still do, and I will till we can go to bed together and tell of our love.”
Monday, May 19, 1947
“I’ve just finished an eight-page book report for English tomorrow, and must now begin studying for a test in the same subject. There’s a pot of coffee on down on the stove to which I intend to make lots of trips. If necessary, I may stay up until morning.”
He’s not sure how Dot’s mother had the time, but she wrote his parents a very nice letter. She urged them to take a nice, long visit in Greenwich, which they will be unable to do. As it is, they must both take unpaid time off work to come to the wedding, so their stay must be a short one.
Speaking of vacations, his boss at the PD gave him a week’s vacation and three weeks leave of absence for June. Actually, Dart will be gone more like five weeks, but he expects it will all work out.
He hopes to someday have the time to explain more about that marriage prediction experiment he told her about. But now, he must go downstairs for another cup of joe and then get back to the books.
Begging her not to get discouraged by his short letters, he wishes her a good night.
Tuesday, May 20, 1947
Dart just can’t let the “one-month” day go by without a letter to his beloved. That wedding day is getting so close!
His most frustrating professor, Mr. Carter, of American literature fame, gave the class a surprise today. “After making us stay up all night studying, and after making us arrive at class fortified with No-Doze pills and the beginnings of anxiety neuroses, he said ‘Would anyone be mad if we didn’t have a test today? Nobody was, and we didn’t.”
He says he just may take up Dot’s suggestion that he buy several postcards instead of thinking he has to fill a page every night. “If we have any left over, we could use ’em to write ‘Having a dandy time all by ourselves!’ from Sunapee.”
It appears that Dot had some comments about the big table he included in a recent letter – the one that was supposed to predict their chances for a successful marriage. Dart had filled in a number of the categories on the chart and Dot has taken exception to some of his information. He confesses that he was guessing on a lot of them. Maybe they’ll be able to fill in the table more accurately when they’re together, but the real point of this exercise was to demonstrate that they have what it takes for a happy marriage.
He insists that she could switch to postcards instead of using her regular monogrammed paper. It sounds as though Dart’s not the only one with a hectic schedule. I can only guess that Dot’s days are filled with babysitting and other odd jobs, painting the house, and trying to maintain some contact with her friends.
From a comment Dart makes, we can surmise that the professional painters that Arthur Chamberlain hired to paint the exterior have decided to leave for a Florida vacation, without finishing the job. “Don’t either of you girls fall off the ladder if you decide to wash the house. (Don’t fall off the roof just before the wedding, either.)”
He’s appalled by the news that the church organist will cost him $25! Also, he didn’t realize that Dot needs to pay for her dress because he thought she was going to wear her sister Harriet’s dress. What he didn’t know was that Eleanor will wear Harriet’s gown and Dot is having one made to match. He reminds her that he’d worried about big weddings costing more, but he assures her he wouldn’t feel truly married without a big wedding.
Dot said that she would soon get her blood test and a physical. Does she need the physical, or does she just feel like having one? He hopes she tell him how it goes.
His exams begin on June 1, so he asks her the favor of not writing him any upsetting letters or postcards during that critical time. Really?! I seriously doubt Dot would ever intentionally write him an upsetting letter, anytime.
In his PS, Dart apologizes for referring to her on a recent envelope as “Dorothy L. Chamberlain.” He knows she doesn’t like her middle name, but she needn’t stew about that much longer. In a month, her name will be Dorothy Chamberlain Peterson!